Pistachio Press


 

Municipal Enquirer
Now, though my fellow psychiatrized will not get the same thing out of this page as the local yokels do, (since a friend in Germany or Australia etc. does not know any of these people), the locals DO know them, even without names and locations. I am sure they will find it more interesting when they hear themselves being mentioned and all the acting out they do regarding me from MY point of view, which they still seem to believe is mysteriously ‘hidden’ from me.
So this is now going to be a sort of Municipal Enquirer type blog page with a stand-up comedy sort of attitude to it. This is how I am going to mock and ridicule the mocking and ridiculing “normies” in  a full circle kind of way. (not that they do that of course!)

Now remember readers; if you are a local and ‘think’ I am ‘talking about you’, even though I did not actually ‘say your name’, don’t make the mistake of ‘whining and complaining’ about it like us whack jobs do, as you too may be getting some ‘help’ with your personality disorders just like we have. There are four possible ‘symptoms’ right in the above statement so stay sharp and keep a wary eye open for the “help.” Your own diagnosis is just a symptom or two away so be very cautious about what you say in public or an A.C.T. team member may be in your home assessing the crap out of you and your life, as it is perceived by your neighbours or perhaps the sales associate at the dollar store, before you ever know what hit you.
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Attribution Error and the Family Romance

No One Feels Safe... 08/27/2010

Looking for the New Trusted Key Holder 

The one who is now retired liked to gossip and tell some tenants the diagnostic labels given to other tenants so that all the building gossips could get all the news to which they seem to feel entitled. (As long as the 'news' is not about them of course as that would then be a violation of THEIR right to privacy and then it would matter. 

When I first moved in, one of my neighbours informed me that another was a 'schizophrenic.'  I also watched as the now retired key holder informed another tenant of the same news about yet another tenant. (Possibly me; it was not too clear as she had been gossiping with an upstairs tenant about a downstairs tenant as I passed by. Don't let on I told you this as this is all con-fidential.)  

The next trusted key holder, or so I have heard, has also passed along confidential information to other tenants out of the notes she get handed on all the tenants entrusted to her care.  She is now gone, and the job is once again being offered openly to other tenants of the building. A large percentage of the tenants are now addicted personalities, some of whom are still using, as is hardly unusual with such folks.  The building has had its ‘senior’ status removed and now the younger, newly ‘disabled’ can be placed there. I actually wanted a senior’s building, as even though I know there are a lot of substance abuse problems in these buildings also, (I worked the Homecare circuit for many years) I also figured that even those who were still dependent would now be too old and tired to keep their neighbours up all night ‘partying.’ Now of course, I could very well end up with my neighbour being one of the Manor graduates who used to live overhead in my old apartment; perhaps one of the death threat utterers.

Will it be one of these who get to have another set of keys to my apartment?

Will this one also help my antagonist, or perhaps the old handyman reporting TO my old antagonist, to get into my apartment when I am out?

Will the lady next door agree to let them know when I go out so they won’t get caught?  

Will I be getting a nice dose of something in my Brita water to “help” me?

Will my saying such things be the cause in itself, to ‘help’ me some more?

I don’t want this kind of ‘help.’

I don’t want the really ‘good’ meds that have such a nice smooth feel to them man.

I don’t want any great new treatments designed to make my perception of reality more to the liking of those who dictate the nature of it to me.  

I have not actually wanted to live here for the last fifteen years. I am however staying and the reason I am staying is because I intend to see to it that all the ‘sides’ in this get very well connected so that all of the assessors and evaluators can get the WHOLE picture for a change with all the ‘secrets’ from all of you, including all the ‘secret’ behaviour you are keeping from each other in this matter, waving like red flags in a tornado. No one is safe in an atmosphere like this one.

 

I just overheard one of the complexes tenants on a bus say she does not really feel safe in the complex. I don't either. I don't feel safe anywhere in this city and I don't know that I ever really will again. I also heard this week on a bus, that a young drunken female, struggling to stay clean and sober, but still heavily engaged in dysfunctional relating, who lives two doors down the street, is mouthing off with me as her topic again. She does not know me but, like the guy who lives upstairs, she has heard all the 'stories.' (Not that they exist of course as “it would not be reasonable...” well you know the drill by now right?) This particular loud mouth is ALSO operating in 'secret'. I wonder if she got the same 'story' as the ones working in the food store on the Creek did for which they pointed me out as I shopped there last week. Or is it the same 'really good story' as the one working the customer service desk at the Zoomer's Department Store on Rock Road who was going to wait until I left for the one to give the other the 'juicy details'.  I always have to wait for the juicy details until one of them who receives them, acts them out for me somewhere prefaced with a “there she is,” so I will know I am the topic for sure. What will the obese girl with the sweat band pass along with her officious little tone to the twenty year old who waited to hear all the latest? 

But back to the key holder job:

Now the 'job' gives the key holder free rent and I believe a small stipend for being in charge. The key holder gets a copy of all the tenants’ personal information from housing and the keys to all the apartments.

One of the people who has been said to have applied for the job is one of the Fare Box Fannies who likes to keep bus drivers, and many others, informed of the tenants’ business, especially what she believes to be mine. She also tries to get the latest from bus drivers, from those getting a free meal at  the church, and from the graduates of various programmes at the psych hospital who are in the town square all day. She is also one who has slandered me personally and is connected to the woman who works (or used to work) at the store in the downtown mall (I have not seen her there for about two weeks but maybe she is just on vacation.)

That same woman though, used to work for the old dollar store along with the wife of the man who used to follow me around, and who reported to the est-ee nurse and the husband of the dollar store clerk also managed to get the keys to my apartment, perhaps even to two of them. Nothing makes one feel quite so safe as having the keys to your apartments turned over to your stalkers or to those who are 'helping' them, and to have half the population agree to keep it all a big 'secret' so that no one else can ever be caught or blamed for anything. 

When you add to that that no one helps you because no one believes an 'attention seeking nut' like you, as you are now defined to be, there is no safer feeling on earth. (Yes I am being sarcastic.)  

It makes you feel like anyone can be entering your apartment without your knowledge or consent at any time and there is nothing at all you can do about it because those who do it will gladly lie and get others to back them up in it while you are 'diagnosed' for knowing about it and daring to say so. 

I just heard that Homewood is saying they have some great new treatments now. Perhaps my awareness of all of them will soon be reduced to a level that is more to their liking; a nice reduction level that will ensure that everyone else remains absolutely blameless. That is, after all, what it is all about isn’t it? 

My anger? Oh don’t concern yourselves with that as it is only bad brain chemistry which appears to be just like real anger only has no meaning at all because ‘really’ nothing has happened here. No sir...nothing at all. I only ‘think’ it has...because I am crazy. 

 
 
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I Recommend 

I recommend for psych students (and others) a few books available at our local public library. These are:

The Cure of Folly

and Daggers of the Mind: Psychiatry and the Myth of Mental Disease

by Gordon Warme, M.D.

I include these NOT because I agree with every word and in fact, I find much of this disturbing, but because they offer some insights into how the minds of psychiatrists have been trained to work.

Also available locally are:

Toxic Psychiatry By Peter Breggin, M.D.

Agnes's Jacket By Professor Gail Hornstein
and
A Schizophrenia Breakthough by Al Siebert, PhD. Who was psychiatrized while TRAINING in psychiatry. 

I hope that these will help to get you to questioning and rethinking the psychiatric status quo.
 


Being Told I Must Not Speak 

I intend to practice here what I am told is my right in a democratic country:
 The right to free speech.

If any profession within my country can arbitrarily remove my legal right to do so, after investing ten minutes of time in listening to me, even though I have broken no laws, and threatened no one, with anything other than 'speech,' then there is something wrong with this system.

If saying there is something wrong with the system, then 'proves' the system is right to keep me from talking, what we have is a system that protects and defends itself, against any dissenting opinion, and this is the stuff of which fascism is made.

If anyone can do this because they don't like what I SAY, then there is no free speech allowed, despite the idealistic claim to the contrary. When a universal right is a 'right' ONLY if I am classified as one of 'us' rather than one of 'them,' then there is no 'right' and there is only an illusion. Paradoxically, it is then MORE important than ever to exercise this right to speak out, against unquestioned power and control, before my 'right' to speak against it disappears completely. The 'rights' we fail to protect and defend are the rights we lose.



The First Delusion

 

The I/thou splitting of experience.

 

The first delusion  and it is an increasingly common one, is that one is not an equal participant in life but rather an ‘objective observer’ of ‘others.’

 

Of course if the psychiatrized even suggest such a thing as ‘objective observation’ of others is true for them, they get an increase in medication too reduce their grandiosity.

 

Psychiatrists, on the other hand, are actually trained to adopt and embrace this attitude and belief right away along with emotional detachment and reductionism. We refer to the skewed results of this as ‘the clinical gaze.’

 

Once this I/thou splitting is accepted and takes psychological hold of those employing it, those under it’s spell fail to see, hear or understand any longer that , “That which you are observing is also observing you.”

 

We have always been there. Where have YOU been ‘taken’ so that you could not see us or hear us right in front of you?


Just Like Diabetes

 

So how many diabetics would you police services say you have to pick up and take to the emergency rooms every year? Do you have to cuff, or taser, a lot of these people always whining and complaining about their high blood sugar and/or insulin overdoses? You would think they would be grateful wouldn’t you, about all the help they are getting?

Third Party Assessments


Why would people, including some we don’t know, who don’t know us, talk about us disparagingly, right in front of us like we aren’t really there? 

Well the belief from the ‘normal’ others’ perspective seems to go something like this: 

It is OK if we talk about her right in front of her because she is stupid and/or crazy and will not understand what we are talking about anyway. At times, oblivious to their own irrationality, they even SAY that while I am standing there looking at them. 

We whack jobs often think they are doing it on purpose because we don’t believe it is possible for people to be so stupid as to be that unaware of themselves, or us. 

I just got a little fridge magnet to remind me of this groupthink routine which says, 

 “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” 

I will try to lower my expectations so that I will not make that mistake again.

 


Self Promotion

 

One cannot appeal to the conscience of a sociopath as this is not what motivates him/her. 

What motivates him/her is total self interest and all s/he does and says is with that end in mind. Therefore, the only way to stop one acting out for his/her own gain is to make it more personally beneficial to him/her to do so,  than to continue along in his/her ‘game.’ 

The same sort of thing applies to witnesses. If it costs them MORE to conceal the truth than it does to tell it, they will tend to co-operate out of self interest, not guilt or ethics, but out of the  same things which motivated many of them to conceal the truth in the first place. It is all about them.


 

Some of us who get targeted by 'Power' in situations where it seems there is no escape possible, have no choice but to crawl through a whole pile of other people's shit to make it out the other side. Now, what do you suppose I mean by that?
Let me 'enlighten' you. by asking again...'est-hole'? Have you ever read the Shawshank Redemption?..
I AM Godot....Godot waits for no one....





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