Dysfunctional Realities



Regarding the 'Imbalance'
I believe there IS an imbalance but it is not in the brain chemistry. It is in the psycho spiritual or metaphysical realm of relating. Human beings tend to protect and defend dysfunctional values and boundary violating behaviour as though their lives depended upon it. We love 'the devil we know' simply because we are used to it. It takes effort to change that and we will not win any popularity contests by doing it. We are so accustomed to having how we all LOOK and SOUND to 'others' as the top priority, defined as 'normal,' that we object to anyone who tries to state openly that how we ARE is twisted and self destructive. So rather than hear the truth, the majority engage in a contest with those 'others' who are 'not like us'  believing that the only way to preserve the group madness we know and love is to dominate all the 'others' who are as mad as we are for doing exactly the same thing!
 
 

“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld
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What is 'Normal'? 02/28/2010

By Patricia Lefave

Well functioning people concern themselves with relating directly and genuinely to others and with the actual solving of problems in relationship or else failing that, move on and make the decision needed to do so.

Dysfunctional people worry about how they look and sound as the first priority, relate from behind a facade, and then express all their suppressed emotions, their rage and frustrations, to third parties about those they 'secretly' hold in disdain and whom they think they are 'fooling,' while keeping themselves convinced that they are well concealed in their perfectly obvious duplicity.


This is the dysfunctional 'norm' but it is really not 'normal' just because it is so common. This kind of thinking and relating creates chaos and confusion for everyone and denying that it is, what it is, just makes it worse and keeps it going. To get out of this mind set, we all need to be who we are, be up front with it, operate from within good personal boundaries, directly and genuinely, and expect those others to do the same.


We cannot MAKE other people respect us as equals and treat us with respect, but we can let them know that we expect that from them, whether we get it from them or not, and if they are unwilling to give us that, we can detach from them and stop expecting to get from them what they are not willing to give. Sometimes real sanity means detaching emotionally from dysfunctional people in a healthy way and learning new ways to find stability for ourselves along with others, in a new support system that has the same kind of goal for change that we do. When we do that we can value ourselves as unique individuals as well as find community with others who do the same. People who value themselves as unique individuals from within good personal boundaries tend to treat others with the same kind of respect. When we do this, everybody wins, and that is the goal I believe we must all aim for. I once 'explained' this to the abusive voices in my altered state. "Crazy' often has a whole lot of sanity inside it, even though much of it is extremely symbolic at the time. I believe the collective unconscious has much suppressed within it to teach us all. We just need to learn again how to listen to a larger reality.
 
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The Trees of the Forest 

I live in a Community Full of Trees who have turned to each other and agreed together that there is no Forest. I am the only one, it seems, who can see a Forest. I perceived this Forest to exist also while in the Home Wood. The Trees in the Home Wood perceived my perception of them as warped and ridiculous, and my 'claim' that I saw those Trees as nothing but a bid for attention.
That is how the Trees know that I am stupid and/or crazy you see. That and the fact that all the Trees know that reality, is that, which is defined by majority vote. What the Majority votes into existence is obviously what is normal. What the majority vote against is abnormal. So there is no “Forest.” So say the Trees.

Speculation

 

What would have happened if Neanderthal, certain that he represented all that was right, normal and complete in creation/evolution, had decided, and had the capability to; 'fix,’ modify and control Cro Magnon for his own good?

 

 

 

Would those of us with taller foreheads been understood to be suffering from severe birth defects and assumed to be too stupid to know it?

 

Dysfunctional Group Behaviour 

It seems to me it is really just the sibling rivalry, often created and encouraged by the generation before, which goes unrecognized and unresolved. Often, even at the time of our death, we are still trying to please our parents who represent the authority figures who can never be questioned, blamed or held accountable, and whom we are still trying to make see us as we really are and grant us a seal of approval we cannot get. In short, the majority  fail to detach from the fantasy parent and the family romance and finally just grow up.

YOUR GATEWAY TO

THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF GANGING UP
"A mobbing is like a tornado spun off from a spring rainstorm
- a fervent, collective assault that escalates from
an ordinary conflict."
-Kenneth Westhues
qtd. in "Mob Rule"
by John Gravois
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