By Patricia Lefave, Labelled, D.D.(P)

"You are like sleepwalkers"

Jesus ben Joseph

I wrote "Blame Versus Responsibility" because they have come to be regarded as antonyms rather than the synonyms they actually are.

I consider this one to be the dysfunctional abstract platitude of the decade:
"It's not about blame, it's about responsibility."

The statement really means; "It is not about what it is about!"
Of course, those who look perplexed when they hear it the way it is are presumed to be stupid or crazy.

There is a lot of confusion caused by the misuse of concepts that separate people in a healthy way from an aggressors power without becoming an aggressor oneself.
To make my point I will give you two short examples.

A. It is very often the case that the first person to "correct" the victim of abuse of any variety, is the abuser himself who tells the victim who complains about it or who tries to resolve the problem; "Blaming others is wrong. Your whining and complaining is wrong. The fault is not in me, it's in you. You are causing me to treat you this way. I wouldn't be doing this if you weren't making me do it. I am only trying to help you and you aren't even grateful for all I've done for you. "(Or some version thereof. )

When the mental health system then takes over the power or authoritarian role in a case like this, in relation to the victim, the victim then hears the same concepts used again to invalidate the complaints all over again, very often word for word.
So the dysfunctional Zen-like circle is reinforced and the abuser or violator is supported and enabled and perceived as "blameless" and often even as a long suffering saint like figure who is "putting up with" the 'crazy and/or stupid" victim who is now assumed by others to be the aggressor, accusing the poor saint "falsely.” Once the victim (who is not "allowed" to say she is a victim) is caught inside that paradoxical metaphysical trap with everyone other than the aggressor believing the reality of the situation to be the opposite, there is no escape possible. After that, the victim could tell the truth every day for fifty years without ever being heard since everything she is saying is already defined as a pathological process "proving" how right everyone else is to see it that way and treat her as if the group delusion was "reality."
Insanity is first about being on the receiving end of this groupthink and group pressure which breaks down the individual's ego structure, bringing about a self fulfilling prophecy.
It is generally at that point, after breaking and becoming altered in consciousness that the collective, and quite accurate, symbolism of aliens, monsters, C.I.A. operatives with covert agendas, terrorists, God, Satan, demons and angels comes out of the mouths of the broken. The symbolism is as accurate in content as any nightmare seen with open eyes.
Many patients have remarked something like, "This is just evil," to which many generally reply mockingly, "'They' think this is 'evil'." The victims of this evil could just as well respond, "'They' think this is NOT 'evil.' “That is if they were "allowed" to respond directly, or if they were not in such psychic shock that they were not able to speak. That's how it looks from the other side of the same reality.

Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us Be....
From:

How Deep Is Your Love?
By The Bee Gees

The fact is, the "authority" in a situation is not always the long suffering, innocent saint which he/she may present to you. Some of them have hidden agendas of domination and submission, and do what they do for no other reason than to get the sense of power they receive from doing it."Sense" or "reason" has nothing to do with it. They relate this way because it is the polar opposite of the feeling of powerlessness they have had at some time in their own lives. That does not excuse it however. To "forgive" this thinking and behaviour, or to excuse it, is to keep these switching roles and repeat cycle going indefinitely. If it is continuously denied and hidden (or "overlooked" and forgiven, in the vernacular of dysfunction) it is supported and enabled. The point seems to be that at least no one will have to get 'blamed" for anything if we all go to Hell together! If there continues to be no requirement of contrition or change, I think there is a strong possibility that all of us "saints" will take out the whole planet in one big self annihilating act of no doubt "holy superiority." But, at least before we see the last flash, we can comfort ourselves by knowing that at least we followed the instructions of "authority" not to ever blame them, and at last we can get the approval of our surrogate parents that all of us perpetual children have always needed so desperately.