My Very Own Paranoid Delusions and 'Imaginary' Conversations



 

Observing, Assessing and Evaluating Crazy Me:
 
One of Those "Cries for 'Help'"


Even More 'Fun'
 

I thought it might be even more ‘fun’ for the locals to get right into my personal space in a way that would not be possible for them to do just by pushing and shoving their way in, and then passing all they can get along as interpretive gossip. (not that any of them DO that of course!) So, bearing in mind that I have been told by experts that none of my personal experience of reality, as I perceive it, is ‘real,’ I thought that I would share my erroneous perceptions and reactions (‘affects’, which are not feelings like you have) right here on this page, with all of you. This way, you who are not ‘sick’ can enjoy observing and assessing someone who is told she is sick, but who will not accept it. 

Now remember I am going to write this “AS IF” this were reality so that those of you who know you are not brain disordered as I am, can really see what it is like to be at the mercy of one’s poor sick brain and yet believe that people actually DO behave this way and that it is in fact very common. To complete my disclaimer here then: 

 On this page, Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental or another sign of my inherently defective personality. Therefore, please do not worry that anyone else is ever going to be held in any way accountable for any of it. 

  

 

My Paranoid Stories of life in my city will appear here below so do get involved in this educational experience...Don't worry, (not that you would) as no real names will be used here since none of these people are really guilty of anything anyway...so how could they be?

My Own Fascinating Insanity
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Homewood Administration and Staff 01/17/2012

 University Faculty, Administration and Staff

Message of the T.V. (Just for you) 

“If you can't join them; beat them.” 

Sorry... forgot which nerdy TV show I got that from. 

I would like to draw your attention to the amount of time and energy you have spent, and also forced me to spend, focused on me and what is going on with me while avoiding any self focus other than the kind used to defend your position.

Think of your topics:

How do we keep her from “finding out”, talking, complaining and trying to bring this out in the open etcetera?

What's wrong with HER?

How will we intimidate her?

How do we stop HER?

Notice anything there?

An “imbalance” perhaps?

Now, self focus and listen to your topics.

How do we protect “us”?

How do we keep this from “getting out”?[1]

How do we stop the staff gossipping?

How do we make sure no one else talks to her about it?

How do we keep her from asking us any questions?

How do we take care of OUR reputations?

Notice any reality splitting there?

Do you notice a particular group dynamic there?

If I say to you once again, “I am not expendable” could you now see what that means within the context of the situation and the group behaviour?

If not, ask Dale Tuck to explain it to you in estian terms. All he is the “director” who is “creating and defining reality itself” here for everyone else out of the movie he has going in his head.[2]  After I will help by supplying you with his terms if you like. My long ago offer to meet a few of my ex psychiatrists at the police station where the meeting is recorded and witnessed still stands...you know, doing “witnessing” as they say inside the est training. Only my kind of witnessing is the kind where a large groups of cops are the “witnesses”..har har har....just in keeping with the spirit of the “joke” there.  

Prevention
Homewood staff and administration. You are going along with trying to “prevent” something from happening that has already happened. It already happened a long time ago. You also apparently want to keep trying to intimidate and invalidate me for not letting it go as I am intended to do. You want me to pretend nothing has happened here like all of you do. That's is not going to be the outcome; not THIS time. Many of you have been very angry that I will not co-operate with your domination agenda and agree to pretend that your dysfunctional employees have not been gossipping about me in a derogatory manner, fabricating stories, and some of them spewing insults and verbal abuse at me on the streets. Well as Dale just might say in est; “that's too bad.”

In order to keep up your own delusional pretence of superior understanding and/or worth in this, you used your unquestioned power to proclaim me to be delusional and paranoid about your staff, thereby supporting enabling and reinforcing the delusions in the est-ee nurse in his covert “game” of “switch.”

Now let's all visualize Dale learning in est that what people believe to be happening will depend upon from WHERE they see the start of the action and visualize him sitting in that imaginary chair with the information he has gathered from others on his “subject” which he wants “to master” sitting on the table before him and his “wish switch” under his hand. Now let's visualize Edgardo Perez studying est at Harvard, while indicating to me that he does not recognize dale's quote from it. Now let's visualize everyone involved blindly following “authority” and blaming their victim for “choosing” to be a victim as part of the justification of the group behaviour.

Now, let's visualize ALL of he people they have involved in it everywhere deny the whole thing. Let us further observe them trying to continue to try to hide the mess they created themselves at one person's direction[3] and then spread it everywhere to everyone they know, while getting the masses to co-operate with the group delusion.

Now let's ask Dale T. If he thinks he has succeeded in “creating and defining reality itself” for all non estians. 

After he answers, let's ask him if he feels his power ebbing away and if he thinks his victim’s “enlightenment” of the masses has anything to do with that.  Also ask him if he wishes he had chosen “enlightenment” instead of “power” when he was told inside his training that he should not kid himself that he could have both. The REAL kind of enlightenment I mean; not the kind you get in three weekends. The real kind takes a lot longer but eventually “it” wins because residing within real enlightenment is the power to DISEMPOWER the power of domination. It's about equality of relating and being an ass-hole. You see....it is only assholes who think they are inherently “superior” to those they attack “without reason.”

Say it again Dale... “there is no reason in what I do.”

Now do you “get It”? Now your GOING to “get it”...get it?

Now let's ALL laugh for "no reason", shall we?



[1]  I told Rhea LaJoie in 96, Homewood is trying to lock the barn door AFTER the livestock has already run off. That's called a metaphor. Not talking about literal “livestock” there.

[2]  estian concept: “it's all in your minds.” (your groupthink mind that is.)

[3]  Well misdirection really though isn't it?

 
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Correcting Me and My 'Madness' By Group Consensus
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Let's Try and Oldie but a Goodie

 

This one too was originally stated to the psychiatric hospital staff having them some 'fun' while observing and listening to my reactions to them. I can easily expand it though to include all of the locals everywhere who have involved themselves in what they believe is a 'covert' operation;

 

“That which you are observing is observing you.”

 

If you did not need to justify yourselves by needing me to be 'less than,' you would already know that. It is perfectly obvious. 

 

 

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