Hallucinating Reality

My Very Own Paranoid Delusions and 'Imaginary' Conversations



 

Observing, Assessing and Evaluating Crazy Me:
 
One of Those "Cries for 'Help'"


Even More 'Fun'
 

I thought it might be even more ‘fun’ for the locals to get right into my personal space in a way that would not be possible for them to do just by pushing and shoving their way in, and then passing all they can get along as interpretive gossip. (not that any of them DO that of course!) So, bearing in mind that I have been told by experts that none of my personal experience of reality, as I perceive it, is ‘real,’ I thought that I would share my erroneous perceptions and reactions (‘affects’, which are not feelings like you have) right here on this page, with all of you. This way, you who are not ‘sick’ can enjoy observing and assessing someone who is told she is sick, but who will not accept it. 

Now remember I am going to write this “AS IF” this were reality so that those of you who know you are not brain disordered as I am, can really see what it is like to be at the mercy of one’s poor sick brain and yet believe that people actually DO behave this way and that it is in fact very common. To complete my disclaimer here then: 

 On this page, Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental or another sign of my inherently defective personality. Therefore, please do not worry that anyone else is ever going to be held in any way accountable for any of it. 

  

 

My Paranoid Stories of life in my city will appear here below so do get involved in this educational experience...Don't worry, (not that you would) as no real names will be used here since none of these people are really guilty of anything anyway...so how could they be?

 
A Couple of Chronic Critics 04/10/2012

There are a couple of critics who live near me who are VERY focused on finding all the flaws they can manage to perceive in me. Both of them are addictions graduates, both still drink, and both of them are just ignored by me. Both like to tell others “interesting” little “stories” about me[1] some of which they have heard at meetings or from other “graduates,” and they actively engage others in their “amusing” contempt for me. Recently one of them told another,

“She just thinks her shit doesn't stink.[2]

Reality: Actually I think that everyone's shit smells pretty much the same. The difference between us is not in the smell of our shit but rather in the fact that you like to fling yours at other people, not unlike some species of monkeys. I prefer to pay attention to my own waste products and keep them contained within my own space. You, however are so focused on the waste products that you IMAGINE I am dealing with and the desire to flush them FOR me, that you have failed to notice just how much verbal diarrhoea is coming out of your own mouth and running down your chin.

Because of your refusal to recognize your own need to find a toilet closer to home, in which to let it all out the other end, by the time you do, that movement is really going to stink to high heaven. 

There's an Interesting Development
...which I get to see and hear all around me now. There are a number of people who are really disgusted, or sighing with frustration, regarding me, as I just will not ACCEPT that I am mentally ill, and they SO want me to do that. They feel this attitude of mine is just wrong and worry that other people who are labelled as they[3] are, will not go for the help they need because I won't, and it might give these others some strange ideas about wellness being possible for them too!

Some of these people who worry and who are expressing their contempt for me as I pass them in the streets, know and accept that they have an illness that causes them to have reality perception problems, and they are quite put out that I won't adopt the same belief system. A couple of them have even commented AT me, while near me, “She doesn't believe she is ill.” (little eye roll there)
or
She doesn't think she has a perception problem.”
or
“She's still waiting”....(giggle giggle[4]).... 

That's right though....I don't believe I am ill.

But I DO accept that you believe that you are, and that you also accept that you have perception problems. I believe that you do too.  I just don't believe that it is bad brain chemistry that is causing it. I think in your case it is bad personal psychology and a bad attitude and that it is also possible to change that.

But, since we are in agreement about your perception problems and I am not trying to talk you out of your beliefs and into mine, what exactly, are you so angry about? 

Is it the contest you think you are in with me?






[1]  One, who is alcoholic, tells others I am alcoholic but just won't face it. I'm not. Their problems are alcohol and drugs. My problem is the alcoholics telling the stories about what they perceive as my problem, which they believe they are doing in secret, in plain sight, and within hearing distance. I used to go to Al-Anon at one time years ago, which is the group for people dealing with alcoholics. This information got “spun” a long time ago and has become a part of the gossip fest like the “thief” stories they made and have spread amongst themselves as well.

[2]  Don't let on you know it is you as it will blow your cover!

[3]  The sighing frustrated worriers....

[4]  I must point out here that I have never had a single conversation with these people about  either my beliefs or my feelings...they're fabricating them....ironic huh? (giggle giggle back atcha)

Post a Comment  |  Register For Email Updates
Posting in the First Person Singular Style
To save any of these files on your computer, right-click and choose "Save target as" from the menu that pops up
Registering, Signing in and Using These Boards
To save any of these files on your computer, right-click and choose "Save target as" from the menu that pops up

Correcting Me and My 'Madness' By Group Consensus
? Sign in/Register
TitlePostsViewsLast Post
Perhaps the Locals Would Like to Express Their Various Opinions and Disdain Here?
You could use this as a gathering point for all of the latest rumours and talk it over right in front of me like I am not even here.....in other words just keep right on behaving the same way which...
217383/25/2010 4:30:40 PM
My Strange Perceptions of Group Behaviour Among the 'Normal'
I am told that my perceptions of the behaviour of groups of, otherwise 'normal' people, is totally unrealistic and exists only in my own poor sick mind, so I am going to post my interesting...
110973/12/2010 3:15:07 PM
 

Let's Try and Oldie but a Goodie

 

This one too was originally stated to the psychiatric hospital staff having them some 'fun' while observing and listening to my reactions to them. I can easily expand it though to include all of the locals everywhere who have involved themselves in what they believe is a 'covert' operation;

 

“That which you are observing is observing you.”

 

If you did not need to justify yourselves by needing me to be 'less than,' you would already know that. It is perfectly obvious. 

 

 

00039391
 
 
© 2013 CounterPsych Log In