There are a couple of critics who live near me who are VERY focused on finding all the flaws they can manage to perceive in me. Both of them are addictions graduates, both still drink, and both of them are just ignored by me. Both like to tell others “interesting” little “stories” about me some of which they have heard at meetings or from other “graduates,” and they actively engage others in their “amusing” contempt for me. Recently one of them told another,
“She just thinks her shit doesn't stink.”
Reality: Actually I think that everyone's shit smells pretty much the same. The difference between us is not in the smell of our shit but rather in the fact that you like to fling yours at other people, not unlike some species of monkeys. I prefer to pay attention to my own waste products and keep them contained within my own space. You, however are so focused on the waste products that you IMAGINE I am dealing with and the desire to flush them FOR me, that you have failed to notice just how much verbal diarrhoea is coming out of your own mouth and running down your chin.
Because of your refusal to recognize your own need to find a toilet closer to home, in which to let it all out the other end, by the time you do, that movement is really going to stink to high heaven.
There's an Interesting Development
...which I get to see and hear all around me now. There are a number of people who are really disgusted, or sighing with frustration, regarding me, as I just will not ACCEPT that I am mentally ill, and they SO want me to do that. They feel this attitude of mine is just wrong and worry that other people who are labelled as they are, will not go for the help they need because I won't, and it might give these others some strange ideas about wellness being possible for them too!
Some of these people who worry and who are expressing their contempt for me as I pass them in the streets, know and accept that they have an illness that causes them to have reality perception problems, and they are quite put out that I won't adopt the same belief system. A couple of them have even commented AT me, while near me, “She doesn't believe she is ill.” (little eye roll there)
“She doesn't think she has a perception problem.”
“She's still waiting”....(giggle giggle)....
That's right though....I don't believe I am ill.
But I DO accept that you believe that you are, and that you also accept that you have perception problems. I believe that you do too. I just don't believe that it is bad brain chemistry that is causing it. I think in your case it is bad personal psychology and a bad attitude and that it is also possible to change that.
But, since we are in agreement about your perception problems and I am not trying to talk you out of your beliefs and into mine, what exactly, are you so angry about?
Is it the contest you think you are in with me?
One, who is alcoholic, tells others I am alcoholic but just won't face it. I'm not. Their problems are alcohol and drugs. My problem is the alcoholics telling the stories about what they perceive as my problem, which they believe they are doing in secret, in plain sight, and within hearing distance. I used to go to Al-Anon at one time years ago, which is the group for people dealing with alcoholics. This information got “spun” a long time ago and has become a part of the gossip fest like the “thief” stories they made and have spread amongst themselves as well.
Don't let on you know it is you as it will blow your cover!
The sighing frustrated worriers....
I must point out here that I have never had a single conversation with these people about either my beliefs or my feelings...they're fabricating them....ironic huh? (giggle giggle back atcha)