Hallucinating Reality

My Very Own Paranoid Delusions and 'Imaginary' Conversations



 

Observing, Assessing and Evaluating Crazy Me:
 
One of Those "Cries for 'Help'"


Even More 'Fun'
 

I thought it might be even more ‘fun’ for the locals to get right into my personal space in a way that would not be possible for them to do just by pushing and shoving their way in, and then passing all they can get along as interpretive gossip. (not that any of them DO that of course!) So, bearing in mind that I have been told by experts that none of my personal experience of reality, as I perceive it, is ‘real,’ I thought that I would share my erroneous perceptions and reactions (‘affects’, which are not feelings like you have) right here on this page, with all of you. This way, you who are not ‘sick’ can enjoy observing and assessing someone who is told she is sick, but who will not accept it. 

Now remember I am going to write this “AS IF” this were reality so that those of you who know you are not brain disordered as I am, can really see what it is like to be at the mercy of one’s poor sick brain and yet believe that people actually DO behave this way and that it is in fact very common. To complete my disclaimer here then: 

 On this page, Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental or another sign of my inherently defective personality. Therefore, please do not worry that anyone else is ever going to be held in any way accountable for any of it. 

  

 

My Paranoid Stories of life in my city will appear here below so do get involved in this educational experience...Don't worry, (not that you would) as no real names will be used here since none of these people are really guilty of anything anyway...so how could they be?

 
Let's Just Ask 'Em : Episode 1 05/07/2012

This is a new feature designed for the locals called “let's just ask 'em and the purpose of it is to see what kind of answers, if any, we get, either openly or “covertly”[1] from those who almost universally deny they have said a word to anybody, seen or heard anything, or know anything at all about what delusional, paranoid, hallucinating me “claims” has happened here...sound like “fun”?

I am not even going to give any details at all about anyone's gossiping or story fabricating or what I “think” I am hearing from them; just the bare bones presented as a Question and then we can let the individual fill in the details, or just deny the whole thing, whatever they choose, so that the rest of us can just “observe the action” as the est-ee nurse might put it.

..whoo hoo...man... we is sure havin' us a good ol' boundary violating time now ain't we?” 

I will just list some very simple questions here under the headings of “Let's Just Ask 'em”  and then let the local population run with it, admit to it or hide it,  as they always have...unless of course the ideas are all just my delusions, in which case no one has, is, or will, say a word to anyone about anything since it would not be reasonable of them to do so, and I am just the unreasonable one for suggesting they do, or for suggesting they know something, about something, that does not even exist. I mean, how crazy am I, right? 
Now don't panic as I am not going to “confront” anyone just as Homewood and the system has instructed me to avoid doing since it is considered to be inappropriate behaviour on my part to talk and upset all the blameless “others.” If there is one thing I have learned and learned well, it is how emotionally fragile the pillars of the community really are.

Well then, that said, let's get started shall we? Ever so gently and simply of course so as not to startle the superior people with too much awareness which they are not used to handling....[2]

How many people would you say “Diana,”[3] has been keeping informed, year after year, everywhere she goes as to what she hears in there? Do the public Library staff get any stories from her?

Does Donna F. who actually does not know me at all personally, talk about me in a very derogatory manner, to many people everywhere, including making outright slanderous remarks for which she could actually be sued, were I to take her to court and prove my legal case against her?

Does Maggie C. at my old bank know anything? Has she gossiped with others about it?

Have any of my neighbours told others, including people I don't even know, exactly where I live now and even identified my exact apartment for these people.

Am I discussed on a semi regular basis at the Drop in Centre and also the church where the free meals are given out, even though I have never been to either of these places?

Do bus drivers ever engage in the latest gossip with some of the support workers who like to play the Fare-box Fanny role and pass along all the latest amusing “news” received from hospitals, nursing homes, Public Housing buildings, and, of course, Homewood?

Did one of those support workers... like say...the Pony Tail diddler...) tell you that “the only reason her is even here is to see if he can find her”.? (har har)
Did you bus drivers know that we whack jobs ACTUALLY know what the finger rotating around the temple really means? 
 
Well that should get you started on a new round of contemptuous and/or “amused” chatter and storytelling.... (not that there is any of course!) so let's leave it there for a few days and see what new spin the locals can put on that to help them avoid any of that highly feared introspection stuff, which their story telling and externalizing works so well to help them avoid.





[1]   Like CIA agents

[2]   And would be too dangerous for them like suddenly waking a sleep walker found wandering in the woods in the dark

[3]    who used to, and maybe still does, volunteer at Homewood library 

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Correcting Me and My 'Madness' By Group Consensus
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110973/12/2010 3:15:07 PM
 

Let's Try and Oldie but a Goodie

 

This one too was originally stated to the psychiatric hospital staff having them some 'fun' while observing and listening to my reactions to them. I can easily expand it though to include all of the locals everywhere who have involved themselves in what they believe is a 'covert' operation;

 

“That which you are observing is observing you.”

 

If you did not need to justify yourselves by needing me to be 'less than,' you would already know that. It is perfectly obvious. 

 

 

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