This is One of the Dysfunctional Group Favourties
By Patricia Lefave, Labelled D.D.(P)
You see the 'trick" to the psychological/verbal abuse from the abuser's perspective is a rationalization that if stated in words would go something like this:
What I am doing to her/him is not really abuse as long as the one I am doing it to, is too stupid or crazy to know s/he is being abused by me. It is OK for me to behave the way I am because if s/he is too stupid/crazy to know and understand what I am doing, then s/he 'deserves' what I am giving him/her for being so stupid/crazy that she is causing it to happen. (I wouldn't be doing this to you if you weren't making me do it.)
So the abuser constructs a fantasy about his/her victim as well as about him/herself and then acts "as if" that construct was "reality."
The victim of it can "make no sense of what is happening, as what is happening makes no SENSE
. It is not rational at all, despite how calm and reasonable looking, and sounding, the abuser with the hidden agenda of domination may appear to be in every other way. That is why most people are 'shocked' when that nice person next door turns out to have bodies buried in the basement. After all he always smiled
and never failed to say, "Good morning."
The aggressor though with the 'secret' self serving agenda "interprets" the victim's 'confusion' or puzzled reactions as stupidity/weakness etc. because the interpretation 'proves' his/her superiority to him/herself. The aggressor projects his/her own traits which s/he
fears onto his target. S/he does not want to be stupid or crazy so the target is the one who is stupid or crazy, not
the aggressor. That is in fact the reason 
s/he is doing what s/he is doing in the first place; to maintain his/her delusional beliefs about his/her superiority in understanding and/or inherent worth. Equality is never
an option to this one. S/he does it for the power
rush s/he gets from doing it which makes him/her FEEL
better about him/herself. This type is really not big on introspection. In fact, they are often extroverts, which is considered by most people to be 'normal.'
If the aggressor is relating as superior to inferior, and the target is relating as an equal, there is NO
real communication going on at all
between the two despite the fact that they may be using the same words
. The difference in premise
of thought makes the same WORDS
means something different to both
parties in the relationship. Of course the targeted "inferior" first assumes good INTENTIONS
at least on the part of the aggressor but by the time s/he finds out otherwise, provided s/he ever does
, it is too late. By then the aggressor has led everyone else who gets involved down the proverbial garden path, often knowing full well that THEY
will cover up their participation in the abuse in order to save themselves
from any negative consequences. As long as the aggressor can fool everyone else involved then s/he is fine with that too. It works for him/her.
It is a totally self serving psychology which is WHY
most of the victims eventually see the "circle." When they do though, and if they say
so, psychiatrists are trained to hear that as a "symptom" in the victim and having nothing at all to do with the victim
experience of reality.
It is often at this point the victim knows s/he is trapped in a maze and the aggressor is often 'soothed' by those helping him/her. That is also often the point when the aggressor will look right AT
the victim and smirk, eyes glowing with unconcealed amusement, for you see, victim and aggressor share the same "secret" but know one else
People who do this, and those who support the aggressors, drive individuals into psychosis by isolating
them and disconnecting
them from concrete reality. They never really see it, or understand it, so they invented an explanation
for it by claiming that the victim suffers from a mental illness, that is a biochemical imbalance in the victim's brain, that causes him/her to 'think" s/he have been 'set up' by someone, or harmed by a group of others, when "really" s/he hasn't, and everything s/he says is all meaningless
. The doctors diagnosing the victim then instructs all others involved to just ignore the victim and not to encourage him/her in her "paranoid delusions."
It is them official isn't it? The aggressor has "won' his/he domination 'game' and the only two people who know
that are the aggressor and the victim. Reality has now been made the opposite
When the now diagnosed and treated victim says, "This is just evil..." the psychiatrists hear nothing but another 'symptom' contained within the defective brain of the victim, for that is what they have been TAUGHT
to hear....and so they do
. For you see psychiatrists have no "problems with authority."
They don't want to be seen as O.D.D.
And that folks is how "reality" IS
defined by a combination of "authority and group consensus" and how the experiences of the victims are reduced to a level of MEANINGLESSNESS.
As they say in the jargon of Dale T.'s training, and as he wrote down for me when I asked him what he was doing, In life, understanding is the booby prize. Sorry.
Are you "Getting it?" if not try matching the concrete details of MY
fascinating case to the metaphysical concepts of the est training as laid out in Sheridan Fenwick's Book: Getting it The Psychology of est, published 1976.
I am sure it will be very 'enlightening' for you. It sure validated my
experience.Message off the T.V. Just for Psychiatrists
"Both sides have to work together if you are going to fix this. If you don't, both sides are going to be destroyed"
Peter had become the bridge
between the two universes you see. That is how Peter solved the problem and then after recreating reality, in a new way, Peter "disappeared
From the series Fringe, May 2011.
As in "causality" not "logic"