...Breaking The Chains and Ending the Cycle


On Scapegoating


Dysfunctional groups of all types employ scapegoating as a means of blowing off suppressed emotions. Socially sanctioned targets are selected and used by a usually non verbal, but sometimes verbal, agreement.  This is a very effective method for releasing emotional pressure, for the whole group especially since the reason for it is denied. Better still is the tautology created which keeps it all going when the scapegoating itself is denied to exist and claimed by the group to be a perception/reaction problem the scapegoat is having which justifies the treatment of the group.

Nothing keeps a dysfunctional system going like keeping it closed to external interference or examination. The scapegoat can then be 'fixed' for complaining about his/her artificially constructed and imposed social position which has now been denied to even exist. Fixing the complainer for complaining is now socially sanctioned as well.

All escape routes are then successfully blocked.


When Does Con-fidentiality or Privacy
 Become Secrecy?


When the people keeping it all Con-fidential are doing so to protect themselves, and their own interests, while allowing their victim(s) to pay the ongoing price for it.

Ontario Provincial Police
Warns Public About Website
 March 2010

Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) in cooperation with the Ontario Corrections Intelligence Unit are warning the public about certain criminal websites possibly being used by thieves to break into your home when you are away. These websites used by criminals are linked to popular social networking websites. On these social networking websites (which are legitimate) you can update your profile to inform your friends as to when you are away from your residence and for how long. Certain criminal websites extracts this information and posts it on its pages and informs their users in any part of the world which houses are empty and at what times. When you consider how many millions of people use social networking websites around the world, the effects can be huge. The public is reminded that items posted on social networking websites are available to all on the web and not all persons on the web are “friends”. Please restrict what you put on your networking page(s) including photos of your residence/address, photos of vehicles including plate numbers and any up to the minute information as to your whereabouts, keep that for your local friends/people you know personally.


The Most Common Inappropriate Affect?


I believe that would be the laughter of the presumably ‘normal’ and sane folk as they treat the destruction of an individual’s life, mind and all around well being, as if it was entertainment.'

It is the favourite reality show for the mindless masses who consider themselves to be representational of mental ‘health.’



We Regret to Announce the Death of:
Alice Miller, Psychoanalyst, Dies at 87;  



Related Many Problems to Parental Acts
Alice Miller, a psychoanalyst who repositioned the family as a locus of dysfunction with her theory that parental power and punishment lay at the root of many human problems, died at her home in Provence on April 14. She was 87.

For full article click on the link in her name


The Answer to the Question,We Ask Our Covert Controllers-- WHY are You Doing This to Me?
Download free PDF file by clicking on the question below

Just Having Them a Little “Fun”

There are large groups of people in all these mob scenarios who would never think of behaving that way on their own but once inside a large group, often led by real criminals, who know just how to manipulate the masses, the mob mentality takes over. This is another example of the drop in collective I.Q. that occurs when such events are played out for us. This is also what the "group contagion" as displayed in my own case is all about.

What is happening for the last three days in the U.K. right now is just an expanded version of the mob mentality which can be triggered anywhere, anytime, in people who don't use the brains they were born with and who are chronic 'followers' for the most part. A handful of real criminals can do that and THEY are the ones who are getting the real rush from it because they are controlling all those morons who are following their lead. This SAME mob mentality is what allows every genocide that has ever happened to be carried out. They are like collective, sub-human fits.

It is about "belonging" to a group, ANY group. It is partly about youth, partly about suppressed emotion, about being followers. It is about targeting something, or someone, about whom it is decided it is socially acceptable to use for the attack. Some-'thing' that is seen as not really mattering anyway, or someone, or a group of someones, who don't matter, who are not as "real" as those doing the attacking. It is all part of the justification for the abuse and always has been. It is all born out of the same mentality and no group or subset of humanity is immune or blameless when it comes to acting out this regressive group shit.

What I would like all of you locals to do is to zoom in on the faces of the participants. Look at their eyes glowing with deranged amusement. Look at those smiles of satisfaction. Then I want you to think of those of us you call 'crazy' for seeing that, telling you about how groups of people harass us, mock us right in our presence, and obviously are ENJOYING themselves when they do it. Then think about how you "correct" our perception of that for us and drug us with "awareness reduction" medication.

Go back and read the eyewitness accounts of holocaust survivours and all other abused groups and individuals who also tell you that their attackers were obviously ENJOYING themselves while they murdered their children and raped their women. Stop acting "surprised" ever time this happens. It happens because otherwise "normal" people like you support and enable it.

Then try this: grow the hell up and face reality before it overcomes you completely and all the "superior" people acting out bring an end to the whole fracking planet.

In my own case here, while my soft spoken, smiling neighbours may not mock me inperson, [1] but only "covertly" with their 'friends' of like mind, their daughters and grandsons and THEIR friends, supported by the arrogance of youth have no problems with it. They also have no problem with announcing where they got their version of me and how "grandma" talks about her all the time to her friends in the apartment building."

Grandma, and many just like her, are way overdue in owning their own behaviour which they use to make themselves FEEL better in just the same way the mob is doing it in the UK right now. It is a matter of degree; not substance. The predicatbel end of all these group evetnts, if taken to the end game is: suicide and/or murder. Because if you don't stop them they end up by stopping themselves in the only way possible. To stop them BEFORE that outcome, you need to expose the psychological 'game' that fuels them and you need to do it in DETAIL. You need to wipe the satisfied smiles off the faces of the participants and you need to do that WITHOUT becoming just like them.

What you see in the UK right now on the streets is just the escalated version of the same group mentality. Groups like these victimize others and scapegoat them for the "fun" or "rush" it gives them to do so and these group INCLUDE, dysfunctional families (the first training ground) school groups, workplaces, clubs or anywhere else that groups of people are working as a cohesive system. It is what they are working ON and HOW they are doing it that makes the difference. Hell on earth is created by groups just as easily as Heaven. Too often "what" becomes a destructive force or, even worse, what becomes WHO, as in "who is it who is trying to "ruin all our fun?" By stopping the group 'game."

[1] Not MOST of them anyway...


Assholes- The Next Generation-

             Keep performing for us

I found this book VERY helpful and I think many of my readers will too. It is not new, but new enough that it may still be available in libraries.

A Few Words and Phrases From:


Emotional Blackmail

By Susan Forward, PhD.



“Why can’t I ever get my point across?...Blackmailers can skillfully mask the pressure they are applying to us, and often, we experience it in ways that make us question our perception of what’s happening…Yet, no matter how different they appear on the surface, they all have major traits in common…

…The people we are coming up against in these can’t-win situations are skilled manipulators.


Chapter 1:

Diagnosis: Emotional Blackmail

Sub section:  What’s the real motive?

If someone’s primary goal is ‘to win…’ There’s no balance of power…


Chapter 2:

The Four Faces of Blackmail:

Punishers, Self Punishers, Sufferers and Tantalizers.


3. Their Blind Spots—and Ours

“…They genuinely believe in the correctness of what they are doing and the rightness of what they want…They tend to fuse and enmesh themselves with those around them.


Chapter 4:

(My own favourite Chapter: I feel like I could also name this one “Psychiatric Blackmail: tools of the trade’, since it fits so well)


Tools of the Trade:

Sub headings

The Spin Doctor, Confusing Labels, Making us ‘Bad’, Pathologizing, What’s Wrong with YOU?, Dangerous secrets, Enlisting Allies, Bringing in Fresh Troops, Calling on a Hidden Authority, (God, psychiatrists etc.) Negative Comparisons (to others who are ‘better’ than you because they co-operate)

‘…The ‘spin involves applying adjectives—positive ones to the blackmailer and the compliant target; negative ones to the person who resists… The experience is disorienting…we begin to internalize the blackmailer’s questions about our perceptions, our character, our worth, our desirability, our values. We are trapped in a dense FOG…We buy into the spin because we want our friends, lovers, bosses and family members to be right and good, not mean unfeeling or oppressive…


Sub Heading

It’s All About Them

…‘All the blackmailers we’ve seen are focused almost totally on THEIR needs, THEIR desires; they don’t seem to be the least bit interested in OUR needs or how their pressure is affecting us. Blackmailers can be like steamrollers when we don’t satisfy them, becoming ruthless in their single minded pursuit of their goals…It is a strange kind of love that is so blind to the target’s feelings…


Making Mountains Out of Molehills

Sub heading

Teaching us a Lesson


…’Insults an infantilizing are similarly explained away with the, ‘it’s for your own good rationale… there are attractive payoffs to clinging to this erroneous idea of punishment as training. Blackmailers can live with almost anything if they can make targets seem like dunces…In this way they can avoid any introspection…’



Old Battles, New Victims

…’the blackmailer strikes out at a target who has become a stand-in for a figure from the past…’ (this is known as acting out on a surrogate)


The Blame- Taker

…’ In fact, they [blackmailers] demand that we buy into it. If they’re displeased, we’re the problem. And our compliance with them is the solution. Under pressure from her family to recant or face exile…She had become the family scapegoat… it is not uncommon for one person to become the repository of everything that goes wrong in the family…in order to keep everyone else in balance…It is especially tough to believe your own perceptions are valid when people you love are telling you how crazy, wrong or sick you are…


A Vicious Cycle

 ..”It was a totally no-win situation…Under pressure we do something that doesn’t fit with who we are…”


Rationalizing and Justifying

“Protecting our integrity can be frightening and lonely…She did what many blackmail targets do given a choice between being true to themselves and complying with what someone else wants: she rationalized.’


The Impact on Our Well Being

‘Emotional blackmail leaves us full of unexpressed smoldering feelings.’

The Impact on the Relationship

Shutting Down

Targets of emotional blackmail become so accustomed to negative judgments disapproval, pressure and overreactions that…they are reluctant to share major parts of their lives. We stop talking about… (listed)…Just below the artificial calm that surrounds a placated blackmailer and a target who has given in, is the widening chasm that is opening between them….In a blackmail tainted situation, relationships with friends , lovers and family members that once had real depth begins to get thinner as the roster of safe topics shrinks.’

A New Dance

Be prepared for even more pressure as blackmailers try to regain their position.