By Patricia Lefave, Monophrenic
The delusions of "concealment," the "hiding in plain sight" bit is vital to the continuation of group abuse, especially psychological
abuse which has no PHYSICAL evidence to prove its existence most of the time.
The secrecy is part of the group delusion used to engage in pseudo "bonding" at the expense of an "inferior" who is not like "us."
Ironically, that too is often a true statement as the targeted "inferior" very often is not
at all like the group members. It is the presumption of who is "normal" (D.B.D.) and who is "abnormal" (sees the one with D.B.D. Splitting and Projecting and, of course, denying
. It is this pseudo "concealment" that keeps this going in dysfunctional groups by supporting, enabling and reinforcing the group delusion.
Psychiatrists like to ask, as though showing "us" that we just "imagine" all of this, "but WHY
would a group of people behave this way and WHY
would they attack you when they don't even know you as they would have "no reason to do so"?? Yes. We DO
see they have "no reason." It's irrational.
But we ALSO
see that they have a reason
. (payoff or goal) in doing it. It makes them FEEL better about themselves to FEEL superior to someone they can target TOGETHER, you know? Like gangs and mobs? They like targets who either have no idea what the group members are doing, or about whom the group members can convince
themselves s/he "deserves" what is being done to him or her.
It is a self fulfilling prophecy. Someone as "stupid" or "crazy" as that
isn't going to have any idea what "we" are doing, or saying, about him or her anyway. So "we" can justify it to ourselves by using that ages old excuse, "what you don't know can't hurt you."
That of course is ALSO
why their inferiors are not "allowed" to tell
them anything they would rather not know, nor ask them
any questions they don't like. For after all, if the "covert ops" are revealed to one and all, then the 'game" is over, and if it ends, there goes the emotional "fix," the group catharsis, which is obtained by
There is a kind of group delusion of grandeur going in this game. The Fascinating Psycho-Social Group Dynamic of Chronic Gossips
One of the most fascinating things about the chronic gossips, most of their gossip of course being of the negative, invalidating type, is that they usually manage to have "no idea" how their targets "found out" that they were talking about them. After all, each and every person to whom they told all the latest, and each and every person they, in turn, told and kept passing along, were told, and agreed, to keep it all "secret." That being the case, the fault MUST
lie in the one they are gossiping about...ANOTHER
terrible character flaw in that
Then of course they go right out and gossip about it with all the other gossips, who are told, of course, to keep it all secret...keeping gossip secret is bloody hard
work isn't it? Don't laugh! The gossips might decide you
are crazy too if you do! Then, they will start talking about you
to other people who are complete strangers to you, and, if you say that you are aware
of that, it will then prove you are crazy, just as they suggested
You see, the key to understanding the successfully deluded folks, the ones who are NOT
upset about themselves and who don't think there is anything wrong with them
, those who often NEVER
get a psychiatric label is to recognize their
magical thinking. It goes like this: if they don't admit
, that they are who they are, doing what they do, those they are doing it to, won't really
know they are doing it, even if they say
they do know. Got that?
It is a bit of a convoluted trip but just think tautology, circling back on itself, so that everyone just keeps
going around in the same
circle, over and over again. What good does that do you may ask? 
Well the beauty of that is that eventually
, after trying to penetrate the irrationality of it, the one defined as "inferior" will get tired , or bored, or frustrated or pissed off and just give up.
give up, the self deluded group members "win" the contest they think they are in. It makes them feel "superior" to think they "won." that is why so many of them like to tell others, "you must let it go...let it go..." because when you DO, they "win."
It is like they say to themselves, "if I don't admit that this perfectly obvious reality exists, then it won't really exist and the person who tells me that it does exist will be the crazy one for seeing it.
Or another common magical idea is, "I don't have to be a victim if I don't choose to be.
This magic spell makes the fearful ones feel
safe and also makes them feel delusionally powerful,
like they can control the world all around them. Of course, in order to make that seem
"real" the opposite must exist also
. If someone else is victimized they
must have "chosen" to be a victim, otherwise it could
not have happened. This is the nature of the "magic circle." One steps inside it and "hides" from reality. Understand? It is like the rapist who says his target was sending out "rape me" signals and so that
is why he did it because "really" she wanted him to rape her."
See? Magic Tautology.
Once you understand
the magic circles, you will find that you are not anywhere near
as confused with the presumably "normal" as you were before you understood it.
I hope you can now understand why the delusions of "secrecy" are vital to the continuance of the group "game." If the group members allow themselves to know
that the targeted individual actually knows
what the group is doing, or at least knows MOST
of it, it just ruins all their "fun." No "fun"- no group catharsis, and then
what will they all do
with all of that suppressed emotion they have stuffed down, so they can SMILE
all the time no matter what the hell is going on in reality?
Slipping into logic by force of habit...