....and you think you got it from that Pat Lefave do you?"
This is out of the latest performance by the genius who used to stand beside a partner (now deceased) acting out in contempt outside Woolworth's, muttering and performing during the Homewood staff/bus driver "fun"
(which by the way was discussed by Woolworth's staff
,,,and although that partner in contempt is long gone now, he always manages to find a new one to help him with his verbally abusive, self righteous, hateful act. They find this to be an ongoing form of "fun" and giving me
what they have decided I "deserve" after hearing all
about me during their own stays in the Homewood addictions unit, or from those who still bring all of the latest news out
of Homewood, often into the public housing complexes, for sharing with all their good buddies.
This is also what the Homewood personnel who started
it all back in 93 with the est-ee nurse, claims does not really exist "out here in the world of reality." For you see, these people would "have no reason" to behave this way which apparently "proves" to the majority of psychiatrists and the mental health pros who follow their lead, that the group behaviour simply does not exist
It does not take much of an understanding to see the circular argument created
in that does it? But I digress, so back to the current
performance by Jack the Jerk. (not his real
Jack, is well known here by cops also. (aren't you?) In any case, he likes to put on a show of slander whenever he spots me walking down a street and he gets his buddies to help him perform in his act. I am sure that if you go to the drop in centre, or for the free meals at the church, or just hang around the town square with him and his good buddies, he will be there to share his witty repartee and clever abuse with his fellow, righteously indignant, and of course "superior" pals...har har har....but I wanted to share this great
performance of June 15th, with everyone who misses
the opportunities he uses for his "shout outs" cause THIS
guy is a real hoot and a half.
This is the new/latest version of me and my supposed sexuality, (or sometimes absence of it) which is as varied
as it can get, depending upon the story telling of the hour, with which these guys always seem to be constantly obsessed. This also tells us something about them
and their own
arrested development, so if you know this guy and what he has said before
, you might get a bit "confused" by the obvious contradictions. But then you're not supposed to be making any kind if sense
of this either as "sense" has nothing whatsoever to do with it.
Guys like these usually have a couple of purposes behind
what they do and say and there is a KIND
of anti logic to it as well, but basically it is all about them and THEIR
need to feel "normal" and usually "superior" and like
in est, they "validate themselves BY
invalidating the other point of view." In other words they step on others to bring themselves "up." This makes them feel falsely powerful
is what they are all about. People who "secretly
" feel powerless want to feel powerful, which they often accomplish for themselves by "secret" means as well. These are the Splitters of the dysfunctional world.
So this jerk and his friends are now going to spread a little more slander and this time it is to suggest I have herpes. I don't of course. This is being done for the power and the jack ass style "fun" of it.So they did this
: The buddy used in Jack's routine this
time shouts from across the street, "You have herpes and you think you got it from Pat Lefave?"
"Yes, Jack yells back (because they are both profoundly deaf apparently) I think that is where I got it."
Now, me, Jack and his ass-hole buddy of course ALL
know that whether or not Jack ACTUALLYhas
herpes, Jack did not get it from me since Jack in fact
, does not actually
even know me. This is "the game."1
Interesting that Jack suggests in his answer that he "thinks" that is where he got herpes which also
suggests that he is spending a lot
of time hooking up with a lot of herpes infected people so he can't be SURE
where he got it. Does his longtime, of and on again, girlfriend know about this? Of course I don't think Jack is all that self aware so he
won't see the humour in that yelled response.
It is convincing others
, third parties, that I am the one with the problem for my awareness
of this and NOT them,
for behaving the way they do.
So why do this?
There are a couple of reasons usually. Immediately of course, Jack hopes to upset me and that I will react with distress
about his false accusations. Perhaps I will ask him WHY
he is doing it, or how
can he talk about me like that or why
is he lying? But I don't need
to ask why. I already know
this. I find him, and his behaviour, along with that of his like minded "friend," idiotic as always
. I sort of stopped and looked at the pair of them across the street, watching them delude themselves that they are doing me harm, which on a certain level they are
, of course, and watching them obtain the usual satisfaction that ass-holes get from BEING
ass-holes; while I watch, knowing
that they have NO IDEA
what obvious idiots and jerks they are to me and people like
me who have to put up with their near, brain dead, shit all day. This is who they
are and what they
do every bloody day of their short, mindless lives. Everybody who knows them, including cops, knows
that too. The only people who don't
get how idiotic they really are is THEM;
and they reinforce
the idiocy in each other as part of the dysfunctional "bonding" routine.
As I have said though, and I especially want those they treat that way, to understand this; you can't "reason" with that, because reason or logic has nothing
to do with it and logic does not penetrate
that kind of irrationality.
There was a time in my past when I would
have asked them, WHY are you doing this to me, or HOW can you treat people like this?
At one time I would have asked because I did not
understand the answer. Later, I would have asked because I thought that if
I asked them, I could get them
to actually THINK
about what they were doing, and the problems they caused for others. I assumed
then that they did not really
understand that or they would not be behaving that way if they did
. But that is not who I am or what I understand about this now. People like this DO
this because this is who THEY
are and I am nothing more to them than a kind of prop in their dysfunctional "play" about themselves
. It is all about them and it always HAS
been and that is the way they want it. It is self delusion on a grand(iose) scale.
Jack acts out like a Jackass because Jack is a Jackass and Jack's' aspiration in life is to be the best
damned Jackass he can.
The only way you can ever really
deal with a Jackass is to support
their desire and ongoing efforts to be the best damned jackasses they can. That's all they really
want and for most of them, they focus on it like a dog with an old bone, and will aim for that, right up to the moment they draw their last breath...which is very often much sooner
than those who are less talented at being Jackasses than they are.
So Jack, keep
your big story telling, mouth open and tell everyone
you can, everywhere
you hang out all day, mocking, ridiculing and slandering people every day of your sorry life, including all those you don't actually know, for as long
as you can. I think everyone in town should have the opportunity to watch you and listen to you, as an important part of their own
learning experience. Maybe if you do it openly enough, for long
enough, even the buddies you get to help
you perform will start
to notice that this routine you so love is making them
look like idiots too.
If even ONE
of them is moved to change
his, or her, own mind by really seeing and hearing
what you do, and understanding why
you do it and how pathetic that is, then that will mean that your
life produced something good
and that it made a real
difference, in what turns out to be a positve way, that you lived at all.
That is, when you come right down to it, all any
of us can hope for as a result of our short, finite existence.
I like to find the silver lining in every
event, including ass-holes shouting out insults and slander at me from across the street. I admit
of course that sometimes it is harder to do than at other times. Still, it CAN
be done. We don't have to take the bait, at least not in the WAY
they want it taken. Bear in mind though that we also
can't say nothing. We have to find a way to say SOMETHING.
way for example) That is because silence to them,
implies acceptance of abuse, or helplessness/hopelessness and that keeps them going, as that is what they want.Abuse victims
: embrace the slander, put it under a microscope, examine it closely and understand the motivations behind
it and the payoffs
received by those producing it. It's not really about you at all. REAL
understanding will set you free. It takes the aggressor's power
away from him/her, because that power is sustained by creating confusion, emotional distress and of course, mostly it is done in "secrecy."
Remember that abusive behaviour is not really a show of strength-it is a demonstration of psycho-spiritual weakness
and it is there for all
to see. All they have to do is LOOK
the ass-holes of the world will give up their "game" as the LAST
thing they want
is to be seen
for what they really are. Remember that this is all about a payoff
and that their victims are all but irrelevant to them so stop
trying to reason
with them and just help
they are, including
talking publicly about what they are getting
out of it.
Oh one last thing, Jack? Do you REALLY
want to attract
all this attention to yourself? You see, the local police read my website as they want to be sure that my est-ee protagonist is being kept safe from ME
means they also watch me and all the people AROUND
me too.....ya know? Just thinking that if I were in YOUR
position right now, I think I would try
to get myself and my big mouth under control. But...that's just me. I am not tough superior and clever like you.
You do whatever you
think is going to get you the best payoff...as usual.
On the meta level this parallels the est-ee nurse and his buddies on the job claiming there is no est exercise going and he has no idea what I am talking about and it also parallels my father and his "covert" meetings which he then told third parties he knew nothing at all about either. And "really" could all these "normal" people be liars in the same kind of way? (yes. This is the dysfunctional game on the meta level. It is about defining my reality by "authority and group consensus" just as it states INSIDE
the secret est training.