Dysfunctional Realities


Regarding the 'Imbalance'

I believe there
IS an imbalance but it is not in the brain chemistry. It is in the psycho spiritual or metaphysical realm of relating. Human beings tend to protect and defend dysfunctional values and boundary violating behaviour as though their lives depended upon it. We love 'the devil we know' simply because we are used to it. It takes effort to change that and we will not win any popularity contests by doing it. We are so accustomed to having how we all LOOK and SOUND to 'others' as the top priority, defined as 'normal,' that we object to anyone who tries to state openly that how we ARE is twisted and self destructive. So rather than hear the truth, the majority engage in a contest with those 'others' who are 'not like us'  believing that the only way to preserve the group madness we know and love is to dominate all the 'others' who are as mad as we are for doing exactly the same thing!

Dysfunctional Power Struggle

Aggressor: Don't listen to HER! She is only SAYING I did that to seek attention.

Opposite side, rarely heard: Don't listen to HIM. He is only SAYING “don't listen to her,” to avoid having any unwanted attention focused on him.

The Value Village Evaluations of Me

These are led in the main, by a graduate or two of the Homewood addictions unit. Did you know that "grandiosity" is considered to be a part of the symptomology of many addicted personalities?

Now personally I am not all that big on this psychiatric reductionism and believe this is, an, at least semi-conscious, choice these folks are making, to make themselves feel better, by stepping ON someone else they like to define as their "inferiors." But for those who are big on it, which is kind of interesting isn't it? It is especially so when I get to see and hear these grandiose personalities acting out their "superiority" from a few feet away which is a frequent occurrence here and HAS been for twenty years now.

This particular employee is never without a snot faced "interpretation" of me, when she is working, at any time I go there, which is about four or five times a year. She "socializes" with her co-workers by doing it. They join with her in her "amusing" remark making and do the dysfunctional bonding ceremony together.

In the past, a discussion has taken place about the time of day I was there at Value Village and what does that "prove" about me and my value as a human being?

"Well you see she doesn't like to work too hard...whined the gal with the part time job.

Bear in mind, readers that these assessments of the locals here often take place within three or four feet of me, like I'm not really there. Well one of the things this "proves" is that they never understood my job or how it worked. Even when I was carrying full time hours with Comcare, (before I got forcedOUT of my job, labelled and "helped") you might have seen me shopping in various places, at various times of day, including at Value Village because that is what my job was like; the more so after the government cut down the Home-care hours people got. But it was always in pieces throughout the day. You see, everyone does not work from nine to five. 1 So when I had a two hour break between cases, THAT was when I shopped and I generally shopped at malls and plazas that were close to the case assignment I had just left or close to one where I was going because it made better use of my time. In reality I used to be working these pieces from 7:30AM to 10PM at night, or even overnight, all in bits.

Of course the "covert superior" opinionated loudmouth and character assassin at Value Village likely did not know that, and since she does not actually know me at all, there is no reason why she should. In fact, it is none of her business at all. She just makes it her business you see for the sake of the dysfunctional bonding ceremony which makes her, and those who join in, FEEL better about themselves. I am just the prop in their dysfunctional "play" about themselves. Reason has nothing to do with it.

I am sure if you met this one she would seem very pleasant to YOU, as long as you are not also one of the defective people to whom she compares herself via disinformation, so that she can win that contest she thinks she is in with me, that I have no interest in whatsoever, except as a part of the GROUP phenomenon that drives this kind of crappy behaviour, which then gets passed off as "normal."

This same woman cannot figure out why I don't smile and act pleasant toward her, other than it being more of MY character flaws of course. It can't have anything to do with her you see, because she is "hiding' in plain sight.

So what is this week's character assessment as provided by her, based on her fantasized reality, as delivered to other "strangers to me", other employees?

Other employee observing me six feet away:

Now why is she looking at all the labels?

(Hint: I am "she" from six feet away as there is no actual communication there and none wanted. "She," like when used by psych hospital staff, is the personal pronoun of objectification and is an indicator to "her" (me) that they are about to discuss an 'inferior" who stands before them. )

Snot faced superior: Well that is because SHE has to make sure everything is just the right kind of fashion..." (Bonding, smirk then employed together)

This is the kind of thing that gets passed along "as if" that was actually my reason and "as if" I had said that. I have heard many of these kinds of comments with the "spin" passed along "as if" they were facts, or reality, when in fact they are group fabrications. Ironic huh?

In reality that conversation is because these two petty, childish, old broads have to cut me down to a size they can handle and they really can't handle much. The conversation they are having ABOUT me is coming out of their own fantasy world and actually has nothing to do with me, who I actually am or why I am looking at the clothing labels. It is just an opportunity for snot face to make more remarks and make herself feel better at the expense of someone she does not actually know and frankly never will know personally either as I am not looking for any new "friends" suffering from Duplicitous Bitch Disorder, nor am I interested in "saving" them from their own perception problems, which I used to perceive as partly my responsibility. I have had enough; and I was done with this kind of crap a long time ago.

FYI: the reason I was looking at the labels was to see what the fabric was made of as I am not interested in buying any more polyester, unless it makes up LESS that fifty percent of the fibre, occasionally, and I prefer 100% cotton and/or silk and/or rayon. Is that all right with you evaluators of me or will you need to turn that into another character flaw of mine too so you can continue to feel OK about yourselves?

Had you talked directly to me you would have known that but then knowing why I do anything is not of any real interest to you is it? It is only your superior "interpretations" of it that matter and I know that no matter what I say or do, does not really matter to you. Besides that, it is none of your business why and I have no interest in explaining all the details of my life to you. Your assessments are about you being disguised as about me. Only your SPIN placed on it matters and that is all about you and your chronic defence of pretty much everything that threatens to cause you to see anything about yourselves that is not so sweet and pleasant as you like to pretend that is. Run your own life.

Now readers... careful not to let on, of course, where you got this information about me as, although it gets delivered anywhere from three to eight feet away, the superior employee is quite sure that I am unaware of her and her behaviour. That is, in part, why she just does not understand why I would just ignore her rather than acknowledge, her, even though she lives in the same neighbourhood which I do now. It's a real mystery to her just as it is to so many others here behaving in a similar manner. This is but ONE amongst thousands of others locally who have righteously involved themselves in the ongoing, citywide assessments and evaluations of me, my life and my character, ALL of which is then denied to exist anywhere but within my own brain,2 or at best, is then trivialized and my "inappropriate reactions" is the new focus. Any way you look at it though, the fault will be found to be in me and ONLY in me. What we DON'T do of course is focus on those who actually did this , or are "'at cause" if you prefer the est-ee's jargon, because THEY can never be blamed can they? As Fenwick said, the power is real despite the fact that it is born out of a desire for an "infantile narcissistic omnipotence." It's about domination, as is STATED inside the est training, the contents of which is then kept "secret."

If you ask these people at V.V. Making the comments if they know what I am talking about here they will most likely go wide eyed and mystified for you, while smiling sweetly of course, as it is how they look and sound to the people who MATTER that makes the difference. Still, the ones who held this conversation in my presence will know, that I knowthem, so the next time that I don't SMILE at you while you are pretending that who you really are is not known to me, you will understand why that is.

Of course, I have no "expectations" of any real change from you. Most of you will keep right on behaving the same way no matter what I say. I no longer care. How awful of me, right? I don't even "care about others." Once, I did care; I "cared" far too much in fact, but those days are gone. Now when you, and your type talk about me, in my presence, like I am not there, I want you to know that though I didn't attack you back for it, I am thinking about you to myself, and what I am thinking is something like, "My God how pathetic and childish is that? This is like watching seven year olds, naughty kids operating in middle aged to old, bodies. How could any adults actually believe that they are not seen, heard or understood while putting on a childish, petty, self-serving show like that?

THAT'S what I am really thinking about you and about all of those just like you. You just can't hear it out loud because I have better personal boundaries than you. Why...I don't even share my opinions of all my dysfunctional neighbours with all the other neighbours or the bus drivers...but I COULD; I do know HOW. I am just choosing to think about your insufferable, self-serving perfectly obvious crap rather than TALK about it, to third parties.

Sometimes a little smile appears on my face as I watch you too, especially those of you who "test" inferior little me to see what kind of a reaction you will get and I smile to myself at your obvious idiocy, and your obliviousness to yourselves, while thinking the above stated thoughts. So by all means give me your little "tests" to see what kind of a reaction you can get, but know now, that THIS is the reaction you are getting. The reaction includes, for some of you, just ignoring you completely and that is usually because I already know that nothing is going to penetrate your "superiority." It's your "fix."

You see folks, it is very hard for Splitters to understand that MY reality is based on who they really are, and which they act out all day, as well as who they are pretending to be, when a few feet closer to me. That is because the mentally ill Splitters, who don't know they are "sick," sincerely believe that they are "hidden" in plain sight or, the more abusive ones, who are proud of it, don't care if you/I see them and hear them acting out like mindless ass-holes. That is because as far as they are concerned they are giving you/me just what they "KNOW" you and I "deserve."

Now they may not actually know you at all, but that is irrelevant to Splitters as they are involved with all the other "story" tellers, who like them, live by projecting their own split minds onto those "inferiors" who "don't understand." This is how Splitters "bond."

And we don't understand them do we? We don't understand how adult human beings could possibly be so dull witted and blind to themselves unless they are just "pretending to be stupid" or else trying to abuse us, or drive us crazy, on purpose for the pretty obvious payoffs they get for doing so.

You see OUR error is that we have been giving these Splitters WAY to much credit for brains and awareness at the same time they give us far too LITTLE. There is actually a name for this: it's called delusional reversal. It used to be delusional reversal, "times 2" in my own case, but now I see them too well, so it is just theirs now and Paranoid Patty here predicts that these idiots are about to be jolted awake despite all their very best resistance to it.
Splitter Projections

I believe that MOST of the time, what psychiatry has defined as "schizophrenia," 3 a word they made up as part of the "explanation" for what happens to individuals, which is then seen as containedwithin those individuals, without relation to external reality, events or relationships with others, is actually the result (or effects) ON an individual who is relating to a group of Splitters of REALITY. These ones are projecting their OWN split minds onto someone who starts to see it, or really hear it, and who attempts to point out the group dysfunction in some way, which the whole group tends to perceive as threatening to the group stability, such as it may be.

The group projection, often is based on some kind of a switch started by one person, who convinces a group, usually "covertly" that reality is the opposite of itself. The individual on the receiving end of the group projections then gets a build up of enough stress, group pressure and an invalidation of his/her personal perception of reality to break him or her, now defined as the targeted sick "one," which then is said to "prove" that this one was "broken" all along and is, in fact, inherently defective. Human minds fragment under pressure; ALL human minds. But when one is declared to be inherently defective, why, what a relief for the whole group! No one is to blame.

This is a self-fulfilling prophecy which protects group dysfunction on a systemic level by blaming the individual (in containment) for "thinking" s/he sees it. To seal the deal, the "sick" one is then often told that s/he only "thinks" he or she is a "victim" BECAUSE such incorrect thoughts as those are a part of the "illness." Once again and forever, in that tautology, "proving" the reality splitters to be right- always right of course and never wrong.

In time, the "sick" ones come to realize this. Often this is why they just stop talking since talking not only does no good, it often makes it all even worse. Since this point can never be made to those who will not hear, talking to them becomes pointless. The psycho-spiritual snare is now set and is firmly in place so that there is no escape possible. The more one struggles to get free the tighter the trap is made to become. All loose screws are tightened in the DSM and the walls surrounding the diagnostic maze raised ever higher.

The people to whom this is done sometimes think they are Jesus, or LIKE Jesus. The masses of "normal" cannot imagine why, other than as pathology of course, though those who have experienced the snare and the maze sometimes do. Jesus also represents the metaphysics of GROUP behaviour and of being sacrificed for the ERRORS of OTHERS as a, largely predictable, outcome.

It is not all that hard to understand if you can manage to get past the "superiority" bit and the automatic defending of the group/mob mentality needed to keep the "them and us" society going as the "norm."

I predict that this mysterious "disease" for which there is no test, or real "cure" will magically clear up when an egalitarian styled society comes into being. Equals don't believe in validating themselves BY invalidating the other point of view. This is not about disagreement in the details though. This problem is about mindless judgements and more; it is about power and control and the imposition of beliefs and wills.

I may not want or like your religion. You may not want or like mine. We may both say so. The problem is not in our disagreement. The problem comes when I decide for YOU that you SHOULD want and like my religion and that I should be able to force it on you, or eliminate you if I cannot.

Or conversely, if YOU decide FOR me, that I SHOULD want and like YOUR religion and that YOU should be able to force it on me, or you can eliminate me if you cannot. That is the difference between disagreement in principle and CONTROL. It also becomes a problem if one or the other of us decides we will falsely appease and patronize the other, just to keep "them" happy. (Conned)

Real equality and tolerating differences on the paths we take to get to the hub of the matter, on this wheel of life is about personal boundaries. It is ALWAYS about boundaries and knowing that the right to freely swing our arms ENDS where the other person's nose begins. Life is both a group event and an individual one; not one OR the other. Whoever tells you that it is one OR the other, in either direction, is handing you a load of crap.

I am a person: not a subject, a game, the butt of a "joke", an object of observation and assessment, a case, a defective, or a walking, talking disease process. If you find that statement "hilarious" as some of you have expressed on the streets here from fur feet away, then perhaps you should get some "help" for your OWN perception/reaction problem. I understand that some people really like "the purple pill." Now see if you can think of any reason why we, who are trapped by this system, sometimes use among other metaphors, a statement of feeling like we are trapped in The Matrix as an analogy for this ''experience."


1 Years ago I also used to shop on weekdays at one or two pm when I was on three to eleven shift.

2 Diagnosis? Delusional Disorder (paranoid) and I've got the paperwork sent to my employer to prove it should the denial of it come into play now

3 Or a few other "very serious" labels


The Trees of the Forest 

I live in a Community Full of Trees who have turned to each other and agreed together that there is no Forest. I am the only one, it seems, who can see a Forest. I perceived this Forest to exist also while in the Home Wood. The Trees in the Home Wood perceived my perception of them as warped and ridiculous, and my 'claim' that I saw those Trees as nothing but a bid for attention.
That is how the Trees know that I am stupid and/or crazy you see. That and the fact that all the Trees know that reality, is that, which is defined by majority vote. What the Majority votes into existence is obviously what is normal. What the majority vote against is abnormal. So there is no “Forest.” So say the Trees.



What would have happened if Neanderthal, certain that he represented all that was right, normal and complete in creation/evolution, had decided, and had the capability to; 'fix,’ modify and control Cro Magnon for his own good?




Would those of us with taller foreheads been understood to be suffering from severe birth defects and assumed to be too stupid to know it?



"A mobbing is like a tornado spun off from a spring rainstorm
- a fervent, collective assault that escalates from
an ordinary conflict."
-Kenneth Westhues
qtd. in "Mob Rule"
by John Gravois


“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld

Schizophrenic Zen

 The people who are talking about us exclude THEMSELVES from the identification process regarding the people who we “think” are talking about us.  These are the same people who lower their eyes and talk out of the sides of their mouths as the means of rendering themselves invisible and inaudible when talking about us, from one to ten feet away. Having achieved this state of being through the use of the cloak of invisibility and the cone of silence, they then know they cannot be the people doing all the talking. They think it must be awful to have a disease that causes us to think people are talking about us and they are sure glad they don’t have an illness like that.

Don’t laugh. They will help us if you do.