By Patricia Lefave, Labelled D.D.(P) in 99, in 11 cost effective minutes, on round 2, with the "help"
When you are, "the subject" or the topic, or the "object of observation," everything you say, or don't say, feel or don't feel, do or don't do, including all of the things they fabricate themselves, and pass along to other "normal" people like them, will be "interpreted" by the group and made to "fit" into their belief system which is geared toward proving how RIGHT they are in their theorizing about you.
Obviously, this must be done from a good safe distance away (at least three feet) in order for them to remain "objective" by keeping YOU objectified. (you are IN the petrie dish- not the lab assistant) This keeps your observers safe from you by making sure that no distracting, genuine or direct relating occurs between you. One does not after all, expect what is growing there, as a yet undiscovered mysterious substance in that petrie dish, to explain itself now, does one? Equal interaction must be kept out of it as the failure to do so may cause a unwelcome form of self doubt to infect the scientists certainty about themselves, or you, or anything about the case, and let's face it; "normality" takes a lot of work and careful planning to define, and to maintain, as I'm sure you can appreciate...or perhaps not, since you're not really "normal' LIKE those creating and defining your reality FOR you.
Dysfunctional "Normal" Group Members
How to define?..they live and think somewhere on the line between the polarized opposites of superior/inferior, sane/insane, normal/abnormal, etc. So they do an act based on where they perceive themselves on that line and compared to where they perceive others to be, or where others perceive themselves to be, on that line between those two poles. The extreme version of this is the power struggle between the "schizophrenic" (the one who breaks) and the psychopath. (the one who dominates without conscience and remains cool and collected)
It is somewhat like one of the conversations between Kwai Chang Caine and Master Po on the old TV series Kung Fu. The boy is AMAZED that Master Po, though blind, knew a grasshopper was sitting at the boys' feet. "But how did you know it was there? He asked the master.
"How is it that You did NOT know", answered the one who was blind and who yet could see what the one with normal sight did not see.
One of the interesting things about the dysfunctional "normal' in groups, is that when, or if, they "find out" to their utter AMAZEMENT, that you know what they are doing, and what they have to say about you, "in secret"- which they have told everyone they know, (who in turn, pass that along to everyone they know too like the "normal' story tellers that they are,) they always seem to be able to find a way to make YOUR knowing about it, and them, another of the many faults to be found in YOU. That way, their own split minded acting out can remain "hidden" in plain sight, in their own minds, and they can remain "normal" and perhaps even a bit MORE superior to you for it, since you must be "devious" in some way for KNOWING, or for not TELLING them that you could see what they were doing from three feet away, while they were doing it. One thing is for sure. You either didn't try hard enough to penetrate their group think, or else you tried TOO hard and had another flaw or symptom they can identify as another of your defects; that of "obsessing." Not that they did ANY of it anyway, as we all know, since really NOTHING happened at all, and there IS nothing TO know. That's why you're crazy. You "think" you see, hear and know things that don't even exist anywhere except in your own mind.
For as we "all" know, if you don't think you are crazy, that "proves" that you are crazy, and there is nothing crazy about THAT.
That is because inferiors are not to question or to challenge "authority" on the state of "normal" who decide FOR you what "crazy" really MEANS. After all it would be just crazy for YOU, to think that you understand your own life and experiences BETTER than they do, often within ten to fifteen minutes of listening to what you SAY, which was already pathologized as an abstraction, in absolute terms, BEFORE you even walked in the door. They know by "what you say", as many others have said the same things about their experiences with abusers, controllers, hidden agendas and group behaviour, and they were all in states of emotional distress too. Like you, often the people they were talking about weren't upset at all.
As we know, the mental illness profession likes to focus on effects and affects and concrete reality in this world is pretty much irrelevant most of the time. For do you not see? People would have NO REASON to behave the way you "claim" that they do? That is how professionals know that the lack of reason is in those who complain they have been harmed by perfectly normal others and not in those others who would have NO REASON to turn into a mindless group, or mob, who attack individuals, including individuals they don't actually even KNOW,, for NO REASON AT ALL.
In other similar scenarios, like the one with a dysfunctional parent (or sibling or boss est.) who sees himself as an authority on life, who can't be questioned or challenged, and who is AMAZED that an unenlightened one, as HE sees it, is capable of knowing much about anything at all.
In reality off course, the solution is to stop playing the stupid, endless "game", to see yourself and everyone else as having inherently EQUAL value, and to self define, self direct, self control-; self actualize with boundaries, while knowing that all others have the same right to develop their own identity that you do. It is the boundaries that matter the most and it is the boundaries in dysfunctional groups that matter the least and THAT'S the problem.
This is where the principles over personalities thing comes into it. In dysfunctional groups, the focus is on getting, or giving in to, OTHER control, as though that was the only two 'choices.' SELF control is not presented as an option in such groups as that would ruin the dysfunctional "game."
Stop defining people in your terms and start defining yourself in your own terms and then BE who you are instead of one way with this one, the opposite with that one or even worse, BOTH ways with the same one, and then denying all of it, on both sides, so that the people to whom you give different versions of the same reality, will be kept apart by the confusion you create for them, like a smoke screen, to take care of your own interests.
It is IN YOUR OWN INTERESTS to STOP the damned GAME. Everybody stop the imposition of wills, the control and the domination bit, so the mess we have all made of "reality," generation after generation, for which no one can be blamed, as that would be like blaming, in the blameless circle, where only those who try to stop the game CAN be blamed, for trying to blame the blameless "others," for running a game which isn't really there anyway. But don't notice that because that too is PART of the game; not SEEING the game ITSELF........ (gasp) Give up the "game" and IT will eventually straighten itself out in the process of living life with a new sane premise to stand on, like a good "foundation stone" that keeps your "house" from collapsing in on ITSELF.
That is what is going to happen if you DON'T STOP this stupid mindless "game."
For either we are are ALL winning or we are ALL losing since in REALITY everything and everyone is CONNECTED on the metaphysical level of our collective BEING.