Dysfunctional Realities


Regarding the 'Imbalance'

I believe there
IS an imbalance but it is not in the brain chemistry. It is in the psycho spiritual or metaphysical realm of relating. Human beings tend to protect and defend dysfunctional values and boundary violating behaviour as though their lives depended upon it. We love 'the devil we know' simply because we are used to it. It takes effort to change that and we will not win any popularity contests by doing it. We are so accustomed to having how we all LOOK and SOUND to 'others' as the top priority, defined as 'normal,' that we object to anyone who tries to state openly that how we ARE is twisted and self destructive. So rather than hear the truth, the majority engage in a contest with those 'others' who are 'not like us'  believing that the only way to preserve the group madness we know and love is to dominate all the 'others' who are as mad as we are for doing exactly the same thing!

Dysfunctional Power Struggle

Aggressor: Don't listen to HER! She is only SAYING I did that to seek attention.

Opposite side, rarely heard: Don't listen to HIM. He is only SAYING “don't listen to her,” to avoid having any unwanted attention focused on him.

“With” the Normal, in Groups

By Patricia Lefave, Labelled D.D.(P) in 99, in 11 cost effective minutes, on round 2, with the "help"

When you are, "the subject" or the topic, or the "object of observation," everything you say, or don't say, feel or don't feel, do or don't do, including all of the things they fabricate themselves, and pass along to other "normal" people like them, will be "interpreted" by the group and made to "fit" into their belief system which is geared toward proving how RIGHT they are in their theorizing about you.

Obviously, this must be done from a good safe distance away (at least three feet) in order for them to remain "objective" by keeping YOU objectified. (you are IN the petrie dish- not the lab assistant) This keeps your observers safe from you by making sure that no distracting, genuine or direct relating occurs between you. One does not after all, expect what is growing there, as a yet undiscovered mysterious substance in that petrie dish, to explain itself now, does one? Equal interaction must be kept out of it as the failure to do so may cause a unwelcome form of self doubt to infect the scientists certainty about themselves, or you, or anything about the case, and let's face it; "normality" takes a lot of work and careful planning to define, and to maintain, as I'm sure you can appreciate...or perhaps not, since you're not really "normal' LIKE those creating and defining your reality FOR you.

Dysfunctional "Normal" Group Members

How to define?..they live and think somewhere on the line between the polarized opposites of superior/inferior, sane/insane, normal/abnormal, etc. So they do an act based on where they perceive themselves on that line and compared to where they perceive others to be, or where others perceive themselves to be, on that line between those two poles. The extreme version of this is the power struggle between the "schizophrenic" (the one who breaks) and the psychopath. (the one who dominates without conscience and remains cool and collected)

It is somewhat like one of the conversations between Kwai Chang Caine and Master Po on the old TV series Kung Fu. The boy is AMAZED that Master Po, though blind, knew a grasshopper was sitting at the boys' feet. "But how did you know it was there? He asked the master.

"How is it that You did NOT know", answered the one who was blind and who yet could see what the one with normal sight did not see.

One of the interesting things about the dysfunctional "normal' in groups, is that when, or if, they "find out" to their utter AMAZEMENT, that you know what they are doing, and what they have to say about you, "in secret"- which they have told everyone they know, (who in turn, pass that along to everyone they know too like the "normal' story tellers that they are,) they always seem to be able to find a way to make YOUR knowing about it, and them, another of the many faults to be found in YOU. That way, their own split minded acting out can remain "hidden" in plain sight, in their own minds, and they can remain "normal" and perhaps even a bit MORE superior to you for it, since you must be "devious" in some way for KNOWING, or for not TELLING them that you could see what they were doing from three feet away, while they were doing it. One thing is for sure. You either didn't try hard enough to penetrate their group think, or else you tried TOO hard and had another flaw or symptom they can identify as another of your defects; that of "obsessing." Not that they did ANY of it anyway, as we all know, since really NOTHING happened at all, and there IS nothing TO know. That's why you're crazy. You "think" you see, hear and know things that don't even exist anywhere except in your own mind.

For as we "all" know, if you don't think you are crazy, that "proves" that you are crazy, and there is nothing crazy about THAT.

That is because inferiors are not to question or to challenge "authority" on the state of "normal" who decide FOR you what "crazy" really MEANS. After all it would be just crazy for YOU, to think that you understand your own life and experiences BETTER than they do, often within ten to fifteen minutes of listening to what you SAY, which was already pathologized as an abstraction, in absolute terms, BEFORE you even walked in the door. They know by "what you say", as many others have said the same things about their experiences with abusers, controllers, hidden agendas and group behaviour, and they were all in states of emotional distress too. Like you, often the people they were talking about weren't upset at all.

As we know, the mental illness profession likes to focus on effects and affects and concrete reality in this world is pretty much irrelevant most of the time. For do you not see? People would have NO REASON to behave the way you "claim" that they do? That is how professionals know that the lack of reason is in those who complain they have been harmed by perfectly normal others and not in those others who would have NO REASON to turn into a mindless group, or mob, who attack individuals, including individuals they don't actually even KNOW,, for NO REASON AT ALL.

In other similar scenarios, like the one with a dysfunctional parent (or sibling or boss est.) who sees himself as an authority on life, who can't be questioned or challenged, and who is AMAZED that an unenlightened one, as HE sees it, is capable of knowing much about anything at all.

In reality off course, the solution is to stop playing the stupid, endless "game", to see yourself and everyone else as having inherently EQUAL value, and to self define, self direct, self control-; self actualize with boundaries, while knowing that all others have the same right to develop their own identity that you do. It is the boundaries that matter the most and it is the boundaries in dysfunctional groups that matter the least and THAT'S the problem.

This is where the principles over personalities thing comes into it. In dysfunctional groups, the focus is on getting, or giving in to, OTHER control, as though that was the only two 'choices.' SELF control is not presented as an option in such groups as that would ruin the dysfunctional "game."

Stop defining people in your terms and start defining yourself in your own terms and then BE who you are instead of one way with this one, the opposite with that one or even worse, BOTH ways with the same one, and then denying all of it, on both sides, so that the people to whom you give different versions of the same reality, will be kept apart by the confusion you create for them, like a smoke screen, to take care of your own interests.

It is IN YOUR OWN INTERESTS to STOP the damned GAME. Everybody stop the imposition of wills, the control and the domination bit, so the mess we have all made of "reality," generation after generation, for which no one can be blamed, as that would be like blaming, in the blameless circle, where only those who try to stop the game CAN be blamed, for trying to blame the blameless "others," for running a game which isn't really there anyway. But don't notice that because that too is PART of the game; not SEEING the game ITSELF........ (gasp) Give up the "game" and IT will eventually straighten itself out in the process of living life with a new sane premise to stand on, like a good "foundation stone" that keeps your "house" from collapsing in on ITSELF.

That is what is going to happen if you DON'T STOP this stupid mindless "game."

For either we are are ALL winning or we are ALL losing since in REALITY everything and everyone is CONNECTED on the metaphysical level of our collective BEING.


The Trees of the Forest 

I live in a Community Full of Trees who have turned to each other and agreed together that there is no Forest. I am the only one, it seems, who can see a Forest. I perceived this Forest to exist also while in the Home Wood. The Trees in the Home Wood perceived my perception of them as warped and ridiculous, and my 'claim' that I saw those Trees as nothing but a bid for attention.
That is how the Trees know that I am stupid and/or crazy you see. That and the fact that all the Trees know that reality, is that, which is defined by majority vote. What the Majority votes into existence is obviously what is normal. What the majority vote against is abnormal. So there is no “Forest.” So say the Trees.



What would have happened if Neanderthal, certain that he represented all that was right, normal and complete in creation/evolution, had decided, and had the capability to; 'fix,’ modify and control Cro Magnon for his own good?




Would those of us with taller foreheads been understood to be suffering from severe birth defects and assumed to be too stupid to know it?



"A mobbing is like a tornado spun off from a spring rainstorm
- a fervent, collective assault that escalates from
an ordinary conflict."
-Kenneth Westhues
qtd. in "Mob Rule"
by John Gravois


“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld

Schizophrenic Zen

 The people who are talking about us exclude THEMSELVES from the identification process regarding the people who we “think” are talking about us.  These are the same people who lower their eyes and talk out of the sides of their mouths as the means of rendering themselves invisible and inaudible when talking about us, from one to ten feet away. Having achieved this state of being through the use of the cloak of invisibility and the cone of silence, they then know they cannot be the people doing all the talking. They think it must be awful to have a disease that causes us to think people are talking about us and they are sure glad they don’t have an illness like that.

Don’t laugh. They will help us if you do.