Dysfunctional Realities


Regarding the 'Imbalance'

I believe there
IS an imbalance but it is not in the brain chemistry. It is in the psycho spiritual or metaphysical realm of relating. Human beings tend to protect and defend dysfunctional values and boundary violating behaviour as though their lives depended upon it. We love 'the devil we know' simply because we are used to it. It takes effort to change that and we will not win any popularity contests by doing it. We are so accustomed to having how we all LOOK and SOUND to 'others' as the top priority, defined as 'normal,' that we object to anyone who tries to state openly that how we ARE is twisted and self destructive. So rather than hear the truth, the majority engage in a contest with those 'others' who are 'not like us'  believing that the only way to preserve the group madness we know and love is to dominate all the 'others' who are as mad as we are for doing exactly the same thing!

Dysfunctional Power Struggle

Aggressor: Don't listen to HER! She is only SAYING I did that to seek attention.

Opposite side, rarely heard: Don't listen to HIM. He is only SAYING “don't listen to her,” to avoid having any unwanted attention focused on him.

How Dysfunctional Groups Protect Themselves

They protect themselves from the complaints about them from the victims/targets.

First order of defence?

"You "think" you are a victim. Well 'we' aren't going to be joining your "pity" party...."

Step one- invalidate the complaints. Show no "pity." Remember it is not about WHAT; it is about WHO, is WHOM, or who is perceived as whom, in these groups. Dysfunctional groups have to keep themselves from being "found out" by those OUTSIDE their group, which may cause THEM any problems.

So the sequence goes like this:

  1. First, they deny the group behaviour. If they can't quite pull that off for some reason, ...
  2. They justify it. Then if that still seems implausible, ...
  3. They trivialize the effects of the group behaviour on the target/victim and then if the victim/target STILL seeks justice or an admission of truth from the group...
  4. They cite the passage of time passed since the event occurred and how the victim/target should stop having such unrealistic expectations about any admissions or apologies.
Then, if the target just stops talking, or just gives it up as hopeless and leaves, the target has the problem for not caring about other people. The point is there is something "wrong" with the target of dysfunctional groups. That is what they are there for. It is NEVER the loyal group members, for to blame any of them, who are in agreement with each other, about WHO is the group problem, is to blame "others" who of course can never be blamed.

This is the point. It does not matter to the group what REALLY happened, why or how. The targets are not "allowed" to tell them anything they don't want to know nor ask them any questions they don't like. If they do, the fault lies...where?

That's right. NOW you are getting it.

What matters to the group is keeping everything just like it is, with a heavy dose of pretending there is really nothing wrong, and that's nothing ...nothing at ALL. Everyone is expected to go along with that in the name of "peace." For in dysfunctional groups, it's personalities (who often seem really "nice" to others and/or have status and power) over principles.

THAT'S the real problem which goes unseen, most of the time, just as it is intended that it SHOULD.


The Trees of the Forest 

I live in a Community Full of Trees who have turned to each other and agreed together that there is no Forest. I am the only one, it seems, who can see a Forest. I perceived this Forest to exist also while in the Home Wood. The Trees in the Home Wood perceived my perception of them as warped and ridiculous, and my 'claim' that I saw those Trees as nothing but a bid for attention.
That is how the Trees know that I am stupid and/or crazy you see. That and the fact that all the Trees know that reality, is that, which is defined by majority vote. What the Majority votes into existence is obviously what is normal. What the majority vote against is abnormal. So there is no “Forest.” So say the Trees.



What would have happened if Neanderthal, certain that he represented all that was right, normal and complete in creation/evolution, had decided, and had the capability to; 'fix,’ modify and control Cro Magnon for his own good?




Would those of us with taller foreheads been understood to be suffering from severe birth defects and assumed to be too stupid to know it?



"A mobbing is like a tornado spun off from a spring rainstorm
- a fervent, collective assault that escalates from
an ordinary conflict."
-Kenneth Westhues
qtd. in "Mob Rule"
by John Gravois


“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld

Schizophrenic Zen

 The people who are talking about us exclude THEMSELVES from the identification process regarding the people who we “think” are talking about us.  These are the same people who lower their eyes and talk out of the sides of their mouths as the means of rendering themselves invisible and inaudible when talking about us, from one to ten feet away. Having achieved this state of being through the use of the cloak of invisibility and the cone of silence, they then know they cannot be the people doing all the talking. They think it must be awful to have a disease that causes us to think people are talking about us and they are sure glad they don’t have an illness like that.

Don’t laugh. They will help us if you do.