Dysfunctional Realities


Regarding the 'Imbalance'

I believe there
IS an imbalance but it is not in the brain chemistry. It is in the psycho spiritual or metaphysical realm of relating. Human beings tend to protect and defend dysfunctional values and boundary violating behaviour as though their lives depended upon it. We love 'the devil we know' simply because we are used to it. It takes effort to change that and we will not win any popularity contests by doing it. We are so accustomed to having how we all LOOK and SOUND to 'others' as the top priority, defined as 'normal,' that we object to anyone who tries to state openly that how we ARE is twisted and self destructive. So rather than hear the truth, the majority engage in a contest with those 'others' who are 'not like us'  believing that the only way to preserve the group madness we know and love is to dominate all the 'others' who are as mad as we are for doing exactly the same thing!

Dysfunctional Power Struggle

Aggressor: Don't listen to HER! She is only SAYING I did that to seek attention.

Opposite side, rarely heard: Don't listen to HIM. He is only SAYING “don't listen to her,” to avoid having any unwanted attention focused on him.

For the Stranger to Me Who "Warns" Others

(Based on the never ending Gossip session which of course exists ONLY in my Defective Mind)

First let me tell you "Val" that you are but one of thousands just like you acting out every day and very righteous about your judgments. Of course your stories and judgments MUST be true, since there are so MANY of you in agreement about it- right?

OK- Now let's get to the point where the mob which you have become, and which has grown in size, over the years, NEVER, EVER Gets.

The "game" goes like this:

It's basically the same "game" with ALL controllers/abusers/bullies/con artists but since this version was performed by a self defined, est-ee psychiatric nurse, using his est training, I will say it simply in those terms.

From the start of the "game" the aggressor with the hidden agenda switches positions with hi target/victim and the meaninglessness of est is also switched with the meaning of life. So est is presented as meaningful and the lives of the trainees and everyone else as meaningless. THAT is then set as the premise for the "recreation of reality itself, created and defined FOR the target and also for the manipulated group BY the controller. This "switch" is used to suck supporters into the "game" using the suggestion, no doubt ambiguously delivered, that they are a "superior" group of people, compared to those who are not in their "group."

The controller who wants power uses "covert ops, disinformation and misdirection", all delivered with a contrived ambiguity, designed to make sure there is no sign of intent to do harm. That is how he sets his goal FIRST and THEN plays the "game." This is so he can be the "winner", in the "game of life."

Of course, even when the target tells YOU what is happening, and WHO is doing it, you, and thousands of others who have been manipulated to accept an alternate reality (which in est and Scientology they are told they can create) DO NOT ACCEPT the Truth you are told. For you are part of the group/mob which has become "certain that you know" what you actually DON'T understand at ALL. BOTH the controller and the target KNOW that by then.

So HOW are the "effects" of the "game" dealt with? Well , routinely, the victim/target is told that "nothing happened." In est, of course, THAT is the point where it is called "finished" and that is WHERE the "Zen-like cuteness" which simultaneously affirms AND denies the reality of the target's experience, then "integrates." Now the abstract ideas AND concrete experience of of It are denied to exist, and in tune with that is the statement, "Nothing happened." This fits in of course with the often repeated idea of est that "there is NO reality, only perception." NOW of course, only the target/victim and the aggressor KNOW that. That's part of the feeling of POWER and control the aggressor gets from IT.

So how then are the "effects" of the game dealt with?(Remember that in e.s.t. EVERYONE except the one at the start of the action, a.k.a. The Source" or the one "at cause", is considered to be ALL "effects." "Nary a cause among you" the trainers said. So "Nothing happened" is the point called "finished" in e.s.t. AND, it is also the meaning of est from Werner/Jack for as he said himself, I have created something out of NOTHING."

so now, when he targeted victim reports that even people she does not even KNOW, are expressing their contempt for her or spreading "stories", or talking about her like she's not there, an explanation must be created to deal with that, since "nothing happened" and routinely this is the one used with a few minor variations.

Since "nothing happened" (the hilarity of knowing that is e.s.t's other concrete name...) the target is only "claiming" that It did, just to "seek attention/fame" or actually BELIEVES there was an e.s.t routine going on BECAUSE she is paranoid and delusional. A psychiatrist "explained" that to me in 99. That was the one I "fired" which many of you also talked about and while waiting for another one, I found the book below at the library which laid out the actual training processes and exercises.

So, Val dear, in the world of reality, your behaviour the other day, along with that of thousands of others, here, who behave just LIKE you, all based on a false premise of thought and judgement, is DENIED to EXIST. Now that denial allows you, and all others of like minds, to keep right on thinking and behaving the same way, and, of course, to JUSTIFY It to yourself while being supported by many others of like minds.

THIS IS the goal and the outcome desired by people like "est-ees" (and many others in the No Name version of controllers as well) who USE this construct for power. This is the power which is presented as a "choice" between power OR enlightenment in the est training version of IT.

It can be HEARD as an instruction (by sociopaths for example) or as an accusation (from the victim perspective on IT) or as a revelation to the often mindless masses, who get manipulated into accepting the "switch" right from the "start of the action." the group/mob "effect" of course, is what the controller counts on, because that is HOW the truth about the controller will be concealed.

It is then "hidden" in plain sight by those who blame the victim/target in some way for their own collusion with the controller/abuser. It is often stated by the group that the victim didn't try HARD enough to explain it to them OR the victim tried TOO hard to tell them what they did not want to believe. So as part of the routine they either ignore her or silence here with more threats and pressure. THAT way, she (or he) will give up the effort and accept resolution as impossible. This is where the "you must let It go" routine kicks into play. That can mean of course, "let it go" (leave it in the past unresolved) or allow it to continue without resolution. But what it NEVER means is let's solve this once and for all. It is indeed about "responsibility."

As they say in the e.s.t. version of the "game", They "do it because It works." They are STILL making a huge pile of money with IT too.

So Val dear, the next time you open your big mouth to express your contempt for me, even though you actually don't KNOW me at all, I would like you to think right after that, "I am one of the people, increased into the thousands, via the "chain reaction and group contagion" as analyzed in this book by Fenwick, who "think" that people they don't even KNOW, LIKE YOU Val, are "talking about them." Then say to yourself, "I am in denial about this and the people I talk about are paying for my, in my place, when THEY are routinely told by experts that THEIR awareness of ME is just their own paranoid delusion. Got that Val? You are saying this to yourself now.

For as so many try so hard to explain to "us" (whomever THEY see as inherently defective) "Do you not see? People would have NO REASON to behave as you say they do?"

THAT point Val dear, is the point of agreement at the nexus of meaning. Sense has nothing to do with it. We BOTH agree there is no reason in it. It is the location of that judgment and what FOLLOWS that creates an alternate reality. In reality of course, "reason" has nothing to do with It. The group- think and group behaviour is senseless. THAT'S the point. It is the point the group members NEVER "get."

In est, the est-ee nurse was taught that reason is a LOWER level of consciousness and was also told that people always look for the reason in things. This is part of the reason (ha ha) that Fenwick talks about the trainees being 'turned around" in their thinking. In reality of course, people just like you Val can be manipulated to support aggressors with hidden agendas of domination BECAUSE you expect reason from those in your own GROUP and because of YOUR unrealistic expectations, the the world is neatly divided between recognizable groups of "them" and "us", you almost automatically invalidate the target's perspective on IT. THIS Val, is what the est-ee nurse's routine is all about.

YOU, like many others involved, are NOT "objective observers" of genetic defectives. You are the manipulated participants in an attack on a target selected to be "experienced OUT." That is the est jargon for it; to be "experienced out of his circle" by the est-ee nurse who "set his goal first" and "then played the game."

This, Val dear, is why Fenwick (Columbia and with a degree in psychopathology) states, "The power is REAL." (even though she says the whole routine is "idiotic.") For it is about your beliefs and expectations and controllers USE that to get what they want. e.s.t. Is, above all else, a demonstration of Itself as a metaphysical construct. YOUR need, like that of many others, to deny the existence of the group/mob endless assessment and evaluation sessions IS the real problem. It is the problem which never gets identified as such because of all the group agreement about the "normality" of it. You are very often PROJECTING your OWN delusional beliefs onto a socially sanctioned target. That is WHY in est, "help" is defined as "keeping someone right where they are" and that is why "we" who are "totally controlled" are left alone with our truth and "Waiting for Godot."

So that is why your behaviour and that of many others just like you Val, is denied to EXIST, since it would not be reasonable for someone as "normal" and opinionated as you, who does not even KNOW me at ALL to think and behave the way I "claim" that you do.

So, to maintain the dysfunctional ("superior") group status quo, we are all well trained to LOOK AWAY from the reality of It, the est-ee and people just like you, acting it all out, and look instead, AT the reporting of It, by the target, whom we must then perceive as having a perception and/or reaction problem. That "shift" in reality and in meaning makes everyone ELSE involved, blameless and that's the point Val. It's about blaming the victim for "choosing" to be a victim and/or "perceiving" herself as a victim. THAT is the double bind right there and that is the paradox generated with no way OUT. For once that is accomplished, it really does not matter WHAT the target says, since it has already been defined as more "symptoms" supposedly "proving" how "right" the aggressor with the hidden agenda, which of course REMAINS hidden to everyone except the target, was all along. As they also say in e.s.t it is about being "always right and never wrong." It is a psychiatric tautology now also, with the heavy emphasis on how "we can't blame others" as an abstraction in absolute terms very much LIKE the estian construct. For one does not argue with experts all CERTAIN that they KNOW BETTER.

e.s.t. is like "the two edged sword."

It is like silencing the voices of the victims


SUPPORTING the voices of the abusers and accusers and their not-so-hidden, agendas.

Now think about the symbolic experiences and meaning of those driven into psychosis, by various forms of systemic abuse, trauma, unrelenting stress, or ANY intolerable situation from which there is no escape possible. Don't forget that lack of sleep ALONE can trigger psychosis, which is essentially an altered state of consciousness similar to dreaming,or MORE often having an endless nightmare with your eyes open. What effect do YOU think declaring such people, already PAST the point of tolerance to conditions, to be self-contained "defective minds/brains," HAS on them? For the fault HAS to be found in the targets; otherwise it would have to be found in the groups, or the situation itself, or the external conditions and THAT cannot be "allowed." So very often, the group "shifts" responsibility for the effects of IT to the victim, who is then perceived as the cause of their own problems, those who "chose to be victims," so that the one who is REALLY "at cause," (in e.s.t as PLANNED) can get off the responsibility hook for It by handing it to the victim instead.

The final lesson in est is: "Reality is NOT that which is defined by authority or group consensus but is that which you experience."

THIS is MY experience of IT Val and YOU don't get to validate yourselves BY invalidating ME.

You don't get to "choose" whether you want to be "at cause'' OR "at effect" for in THIS reality, It's cause AND effect, which are two sides of the SAME experience ; NOT two distinct and separate ''realities'' which you can ''choose'' to create as the means of deluding yourselves that you can have ''total control'' over EVERYTHING that happens to you. THAT is what is crazy. Nobody has that, and if you did not get hooked into this reality splitting crap by seeing yourself as part of an inherently ''superior'' group, you would already KNOW that without needing an ''inferior'' like me to point out to you the blatantly bloody obvious.


You mental illness pros should really watch Bull. (Good name for the character I.M.O.)

It is based on Dr. Phil McGraw, who also writes for the show. McGraw also went through the e.s.t training years ago and uses it's catch phrases quite a lot. One of the promos for the show shows "Bull" stating with a smirk, "Innocent until proven guilty? Yeah...right..."

It is about manipulating people to perceive "reality" the way the manipulator wants it done and THAT is presented of course, as a "good" kind of power to have.

  1. Phil also insists on "correcting" any "buts" (a modifier) by changing them to "and" just LIKE my est-ee protagonist did in his one of his notes to me, and did so recently with Stephen Colbert on his show.
  2. Phil has also told people in his T.V. Show INCLUDING the labeled, "There is no reality; only perception."
Of course, if Dr. Phil seems nice and pleasant, is a psychologist, and has good intentions then he MUST be right- correct? Is that "always right and never wrong" as they also say in est?

One question though... if "there is no reality; only perception" then how can ANYONE'S perception of reality be the "correct" one, INCLUDING the perceptions of Dr. Phil?

Some of "us" HEAR this stuff as a blatant contradiction. Then the reality of that too is generally "corrected" by those who say "there is no reality"......(infinite loop)


The Trees of the Forest 

I live in a Community Full of Trees who have turned to each other and agreed together that there is no Forest. I am the only one, it seems, who can see a Forest. I perceived this Forest to exist also while in the Home Wood. The Trees in the Home Wood perceived my perception of them as warped and ridiculous, and my 'claim' that I saw those Trees as nothing but a bid for attention.
That is how the Trees know that I am stupid and/or crazy you see. That and the fact that all the Trees know that reality, is that, which is defined by majority vote. What the Majority votes into existence is obviously what is normal. What the majority vote against is abnormal. So there is no “Forest.” So say the Trees.



What would have happened if Neanderthal, certain that he represented all that was right, normal and complete in creation/evolution, had decided, and had the capability to; 'fix,’ modify and control Cro Magnon for his own good?




Would those of us with taller foreheads been understood to be suffering from severe birth defects and assumed to be too stupid to know it?



"A mobbing is like a tornado spun off from a spring rainstorm
- a fervent, collective assault that escalates from
an ordinary conflict."
-Kenneth Westhues
qtd. in "Mob Rule"
by John Gravois


“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld

Schizophrenic Zen

 The people who are talking about us exclude THEMSELVES from the identification process regarding the people who we “think” are talking about us.  These are the same people who lower their eyes and talk out of the sides of their mouths as the means of rendering themselves invisible and inaudible when talking about us, from one to ten feet away. Having achieved this state of being through the use of the cloak of invisibility and the cone of silence, they then know they cannot be the people doing all the talking. They think it must be awful to have a disease that causes us to think people are talking about us and they are sure glad they don’t have an illness like that.

Don’t laugh. They will help us if you do.