A.K.A.  Endorphin Therapy

Say did you hear the one about the doctors who were hired to get the E-Health system online? They had downloaded at government expense, an assortment of Star Wars games and extreme fighting videos...I sense a new mental illness being invented...Let’s see now for the DSM V how about…oh I’ve got it!... Star Wars/Jedi Knight Disorder?


“Why would anyone want to leave a pony packed country to go to a non pony country? It just doesn't make sense!”

Jerry Seinfeld


Poor Jerry. He is “having trouble making sense of things” and we who have been diagnosed with the same symptom know what that means now don't we?


Whimsical Women's
Psychiatrist Silvertone Leather Strap Watch


Because EVERYTHING Has To Be



“A real intellectual can listen to the


William Tell overture and not even


THINK of the Lone Ranger.”

Vic Lee

From an American lunatic of My Acquaintance

This one is an oldy but a goody

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada

has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols

to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is

prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon

be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian

border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology

professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their

fields at night.

''I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a

Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,'' said Manitoba farmer Red

Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was

cold, exhausted and hungry. ''He asked me if I could spare a latte

and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.

Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?''

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher

fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers

that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. ''Not real effective,''

he said. ''The liberals still got through, and

Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk.''

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet

liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station

wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for

themselves. ''A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged

conditions,'' an Ontario border patrolman said. ''I found one carload

without a drop of

drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet,


When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often

wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors

have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing

re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic

beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to

sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to

posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian

prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans

disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began

stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

''If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk

Show, we get suspicious about their age,'' an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are

creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan

Sarandon movies. ''I feel sorry for American liberals, but the

Canadian economy just can't support them,'' an Ottawa resident said.

''How many art-history majors does one country need?''

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada,

Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and

pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals,

a source close to Cheney said. We're going to have some Peter, Paul &

Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage

stamps. The president is determined to reach out.''


“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld