A.K.A.  Endorphin Therapy

 
 
 
 


Say did you hear the one about the doctors who were hired to get the E-Health system online? They had downloaded at government expense, an assortment of Star Wars games and extreme fighting videos...I sense a new mental illness being invented...Let’s see now for the DSM V how about…oh I’ve got it!... Star Wars/Jedi Knight Disorder?

00077460

“Why would anyone want to leave a pony packed country to go to a non pony country? It just doesn't make sense!”

Jerry Seinfeld

 

Poor Jerry. He is “having trouble making sense of things” and we who have been diagnosed with the same symptom know what that means now don't we?

 

Whimsical Women's
Psychiatrist Silvertone Leather Strap Watch

 

 

Because EVERYTHING Has To Be

"Therapy"!

 

“A real intellectual can listen to the

 

William Tell overture and not even

 

THINK of the Lone Ranger.”


Vic Lee

Why Cell Phone People Just Can't Cope

As well as hearing this kind of thing here about myself, I have also heard this same kind of thing about others, like me, who continue to use equipment that the cell phone people have thrown out and, apparently, need to believe everyone else has too, or that they SHOULD, so as not to offend the cell phone people by being "different." 

This cell phone generation gets quite testy when we "land-line' loving, answering machine types either "don't answer our phones" immediately every time they ring. (no theme songs involved either; just actual ringing)   This seems to apply whether we are at home, or not, or don't pick up when we "KNOW" they are calling as they believe our phones will tell us so. "We" land-liners say just awful things to them about their calls like, "Why don't you speak? "  Or  "There was no message left" or "Did you not hear the instruction to identify yourself?" Or  "I can't actually SEE you there through the wires when you call..."  or "There is no APP involved in this process."

These questions or responses frequently just infuriate the ever silent callers-just piss the cellers right OFF!  So to attempt to alleviate their distress, and my own, here is an in depth explanation from the olden days, where I am actually FROM, about how land-lines, handsets and answering MACHINES actually work. 

The phone rings. After a set number of rings, most often two to four,  the answering machine kicks in. It is an ACTUAL physical piece of equipment. Old ones have a cassette tape and newer ones have a digital system...(Woo! Modern me!)

Then a message recorded BY the owner of the machine, connected to the number you called, tells you what to DO to make contact with the answering machine owner.  My own tells people they need to identify themselves by using ACTUAL words.  Many, especially telemarketers, do not do that, which is one of MY main points in having the machine on to answer, 24 /7.  They don't speak and neither do I, so that works out quite well  

However, since I cannot actually SEE who is calling on my old handset, or SEEthrough the wires of my land-line, any one else who ACTS LIKE a telemarketer, will get the same RESULTS as the telemarketers. In short- NONE.

Of course I am aware I may not actually "get through" to those, who are trying to get through to me, the way they want, without saying a single word TO me, BUT I will give it a try.

In any case, I maintain the hope of helping people to let go of their land-line user, them and us,  contempt so that those of us still connected to another way of being, can be FREE to hear that ring, that beep that follows and wait in anticipation for a human voice to identify itself, over the wires, in that old, non app, no theme song, human of using voices, to which we land-liners so  stubbornly cling for the soothing familiarity and cost effectiveness of it all.

Surely this world still has room for BOTH those who can't put down their cell phones all day and all their multiple usage apps, as WELL AS those of us who remain unconnected, most of the time, and who CAN wait, quite contentedly, to get home later, to see, ...HEAR in the more literal sense for those of you into "interpretation," who may have called without using a single app to do it????

We need diversity people...diversity makes the world so much more interesting. Why some of us machine types actually sing our OWN theme songs all day without paying anyone so much as 1 single dollar to get it!  WOW!

So, if I can't cause the cell phone people to give up their righteous, land-line hater contempt, at least I can hope to show the other land-line /machine users on the receiving end of the cellular types contempt and disdain that, just like in relation to mentalism, or sexism, or ageism,

YOU  are not ALONE with your old PHONE.

“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld

 
   
 
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