Hallucinating Reality

My Very Own Paranoid Delusions and 'Imaginary' Conversations



 

Observing, Assessing and Evaluating Crazy Me:
 
One of Those "Cries for 'Help'"


Even More 'Fun'
 

I thought it might be even more ‘fun’ for the locals to get right into my personal space in a way that would not be possible for them to do just by pushing and shoving their way in, and then passing all they can get along as interpretive gossip. (not that any of them DO that of course!) So, bearing in mind that I have been told by experts that none of my personal experience of reality, as I perceive it, is ‘real,’ I thought that I would share my erroneous perceptions and reactions (‘affects’, which are not feelings like you have) right here on this page, with all of you. This way, you who are not ‘sick’ can enjoy observing and assessing someone who is told she is sick, but who will not accept it. 

Now remember I am going to write this “AS IF” this were reality so that those of you who know you are not brain disordered as I am, can really see what it is like to be at the mercy of one’s poor sick brain and yet believe that people actually DO behave this way and that it is in fact very common. To complete my disclaimer here then: 

 On this page, Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental or another sign of my inherently defective personality. Therefore, please do not worry that anyone else is ever going to be held in any way accountable for any of it. 

  

 

My Paranoid Stories of life in my city will appear here below so do get involved in this educational experience...Don't worry, (not that you would) as no real names will be used here since none of these people are really guilty of anything anyway...so how could they be?

Invalidation and Control
To all of you local superior minds and "covert" controllers and "story" tellers. Have your group-think sessions of the last twenty years or so come up with any theories on the meaning of "genuine direct communication" yet, or are you still in committee on that ... More>

What I am Hallucinating Today
Phrases of the Week From other tenants and city employees: “All that over something so simple.” (repeat, repeat, repeat..... ad nauseum...but don't worry as none of this is discussed directly with me as it has never been for 21 years now. After all ... More>

About Two Years Ago
A woman I did not know asked her companion, after pointing me out, “That's her....can you imagine what it would be like to have everyone focused on you all the time”? My Answer: (were I “allowed” to have one...) “I don't have to imagine it. I am experiencing ... More>

The Ongoing Discussion and Debate
...by people I don't actually know, who don't actually know me but who continue, to assess and evaluate my life, thoughts and motives FOR me from a nice safe, distant away, still transforming my experience of reality as defined by group consensus into one that ... More>

Repeat Rounds of....
"Why is she so angry"??? What's the big deal?...she says herself it has been twenty years.... Why doesn't she let it go? Why doesn't she speak up about it? I wonder if she is that older woman who lives in our building? (cheap housing used by students, the working ... More>


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Let's Try and Oldie but a Goodie

 

This one too was originally stated to the psychiatric hospital staff having them some 'fun' while observing and listening to my reactions to them. I can easily expand it though to include all of the locals everywhere who have involved themselves in what they believe is a 'covert' operation;

 

“That which you are observing is observing you.”

 

If you did not need to justify yourselves by needing me to be 'less than,' you would already know that. It is perfectly obvious. 

 

 

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