By the "case", formerly known as a human being, much like those who are "objectifying me."
The group debate on my value as a human being, an employee, a tenant, a woman, continues.
We are now into year 21. Much of it still coming from the library people, staff and patrons alike, the medical profession, all over town, at all levels, and of course the university students, staff, faculty and support staff and all those to whom they express their freely offered opinions, including bus drivers and bus passengers, and all the gossips hanging out at the mall food court all day. (all of it viewed as "entertainment") Did you know she almost committed suicide over it? (har har har....) this is considered to be highly amusing by many of the local "story tellers" here. Of course there are ALSO those who spit their contempt at me in the streets, like the woman in her thirties who pointed me out to another saying, "Yeah; so what seemed to be the problem? Couldn't she manage to get it done right?" Her face was twisted with irrational hatred as she did this. The person she was talking to laughed. This group behaviour MUST be denied in order to keep up appearances for "others" and to ensure no one is blamed, of course, since that it our collective dysfunctional goal.
Of course we must not forget about my current neighbours, many of whom spend their days getting all the latest on all their other neighbours, ("what's the story on her? Listen... I know someone who is coming to see her so I will try to see what I can find out...") comparing themselves, and passing along all of the latest tidbits which they have heard, from, and share with, those of like minds, doing the same; "covertly" of course. Then they wonder,ever so perplexed, where all these rumours and stories are coming from? (Must be those awful "others." )
What is actually happening is that their own "stories" and "interpretations "of "others", the story tellers themselves are repeating, among all those "others," are now so well repeated, "interpreted" and varied, that their own "covert" rumour spreading and sharing of all the "latest," is going through the samecircle of gossips and coming back to kick them in their own duplicitous asses. Yet they have "no idea" where all these rumours are coming from???
You see with the chronic, highly amused "story" tellers, it is all quite different when what they do TO those "inferior" others, "for the entertainment of it," results in causing the same kind of problem for them, that they cause for "others," while denying they do so, or that it really matters. When what they do affects them and THEIR lives and well being, then suddenly they are "outraged" by such behaviour and will put on quite a show of righteous indignation that could win them an Oscar. Letting it "roll of their backs" is advice given by them to "others" not advice they apply to themselves. But then this is the Splitter way.
Often, they make up some new stories to explain all that rumour spreading. (It was probably that so-and-so to whom I have been complaining about those "others." SHE probably told them what I said about them, even though she said she would not.)
I bet you are right about that Vera Duckworth! You never know what someone like HER is going to do! I will see what I can find out from the people at the bus stop today and we will meet covertly later to share the latest...careful...there is so and so now..six feet away...don't let her see us..."hello there so and so..how are YOU today?"
(Lowering her eyes and talking out of the side of her mouth,,, Well SHE sure isn't very friendly is she?.. what's HER problem? Let's talk about it later..maybe we can find out if anyone knows if she has said anything about us???
The stories of course do notinclude the story tellers themselves as the source of the rumours. That is because the story tellers all consider themselves to be "hidden" from those they talk about, often right in their presence like they are not really there, as well as hidden from each other.
(they would make really shitty "CIA" or CSIS agents, which I have talked about before, to a psychiatrist and suggested they notbecome spies as they will no doubt be shot on their first day on the job...)
I am excluding in this description of the popular dysfunctional, third personning, the little "tests" some of them like to give their "inferiors" to see what kind of a reaction they can get, which they can then discuss later, also "covertly" of course.
Currently the topic is back on my physical appearance and/or my physical "defects" as has been defined for them by third parties, which have been discussed and debated at length. Only not really of course, as it would not be "reasonable" for "normal" people to behave the way I "claim" they do with my "attention seeking fabrications" which just happen to justify the contempt from them, that is not really there, and which I am only "imagining."
Current rumours from out of "nowhere":
What does "he" think is going to happen. Does he actually believe....etc.
Well I think "he" (all of them or just one of them?) had good intentions.
Did you know that "they" are sure going to make an "odd couple"?
"He sure has a lot to offer her..."
(Listen don't mind me in this, or pay even the slightest bit of attention to the fact that I have no personal plans to join anyone and when, or even IF, I ever do again, and I may notever have a partner again, it will be for my OWN reasons, either way, and not up for group debate and evaluation. No matter which "he" this group discussion is on, which from my point of view is multiple choice, including no one at all, let me express my own point of view, just as a wild change of pace here: NONE of the HIMS in this have ANYTHING to offer me until, or unless, the first thing offered is some truth, about those blameless "others", HIM included and revealed publicly, to all the blameless, busybodies involved, who are currently still "hiding" in plain sight. GOT THAT, all you assessors and evaluators?
Life isn't REALLY like the National Enquirer or "E-Talk." Only idiots believe they understand other people's lives and experiences from their own point of view, BETTER than those living and experiencing them. Perhaps that is where all the "interventions" should be focused instead of telling the targets of group insanity they are just "imagining" it all or exaggerating to "seek attention," since "really" it would not make any "sense" for groups to think and behave this way. No kidding? Not "logical"- so it can't be reality then, since the whole world runs on "logic." My, that's logical.
A new round of snotty remarks is currently being acted out for me by those who either don't know I can hear them from five feet away, don't really know who I am, or just don't care. In any case. We will have to deny it all anyway won't we? For as we all know, NO ONE can ever be blamed for anything. Can they?
Let me give you a suggestion, though it is not the "suggestion" I would like to give you, about your thinking and behaviour, you "superior" people you:
It's not, "no one can be blamed." It's EVERYONE is to blame for this chaotic, confusing, scapegoating dysfunctional mess, often misnamed as "socializing," (from group-think to mob behaviour) to one degree or another. Stop projecting your own duplicitous shit onto scapegoats who must pay, and pay, and pay, for YOUR inability, or unwillingness, to face REALITY and accept "responsibility" for your OWN ( AND NOT for other people's) twisted, dysfunctional thinking and socially sanctioned, abusive behaviour.
Twenty years later the majority of you here are STILL defining MY reality FOR me by means of "group consensus," backed up by "authority." I am being assessed and evaluated by people , often university students, who were not even born when their counterparts of 95 were doing the same thing. You have "transformed" MY reality for me, by accepting the "switch" used at the starting point and then, as linear thinkers, making me and all that has happened here "fit" into your own error, so that you can AVOID accountability for the "game" in which you have willingly "participated" and then lied about, when "things went bad" in order to avoid "responsibility." This just HAPPENS to be what Dale T.'s est training is all about. Quite the "amazing" coincidence isn't it?
You still don't get the point because none of you will "complete the experience" if you think it is going to cost YOU something. The point being, as stated in est; "Reality is NOT that which is defined by authority or group consensus but is that which you experience. Only COMPLETED experiences disappear."
A mental health pro told me that "no one is going to admit to anything so, what are you going to do now?"
I believe that I was expected of course to see the utter futility of any of my "unrealistic expectations" for a real resolution. But then I am one of those "defectives" who refuses to let IT go. So the answer to that question from long ago is, "This is what I am going to do. How do you like my REACTION?" Is it fascinating? How will you pathologize it?
Mr. T. decided he was going to hand me "the booby prize" in "the game of life." Mr. T. Did not believe me when I told him that I could turn this back around on him and by doing so hand IT right back to "the Source" from which It came and who tried to hand his own delusional beliefs to me.
Thanks, but no, thanks. Since I can see the actual context in which this "play" has been presented and sold, I am not interested in the Con-Text. Only the real "winners" in the "game of life" see "domination" of others as the means of making themselves FEEL better about who they are. That's the REAL "booby prize" that the "superior" types eventually give IT to themselves, in the end...which is right where it belongs.
The only concrete structure to which est CAN be connected and remain essentially meaningless is est, ITSELF; which means the organization (now known as Landmark Education) and the training sessions. This is why it is "over your heads." The moment you try to connect the training to any OTHER concrete structure, you create the possibility of giving yourself the booby prize by creating an evidence trail. That is because you have then "chosen" to "interpret" the meaning of IT according to your own personal understanding.
Dale is fnally going to get what he thinks he wants and what he believed he already had- the ability to dominate others, be "at cause" and not "at effect' and "totally responsible for everything that happens to him."
Can you HEAR that OK?
In reality, he is IN the infinite loop of est, just like so many other blind followers of authority. He is "at cause AND at effect" (not "or") and totally responsible for It. (since IT is open to interpretation when it has no context) and he is giving himself the "understanding" (comprehension) AND the UNDER-standing (inferior status) that is the booby prize in the "game of life."
Erhard is "off the hook" because he NEVER tells his followers what they should believe est means, (It is all meaningless) or choose to do, leaving it all up to THEM to use in whatever way seems good or useful to them. Erhard you see is at the top of the estian pyramid. He is operating "over their heads."
When you can successfully sidestep responsibility for everything, when everything and nothing are the same thing, you can dominate anyone and everyone, everywhere, for there is no concrete evidence of INTENT to do harm, is there? Unless of course, someone can see you for what you are and looks for evidence to prove IT..