Want to know HOW the "strangers to me," who have acted this all out in various versions over the years all ACTUALLY connect?
Well, I just got "interpreted" by more strangers to me on the street today, three different times. Don't know the names of these ones by DO know who some of the older performers are now and how THEY connect.
Today, I got from strangers, "I just feel sorry for her now." (this is a repeat performance going back years. Only the actors change; the "play remains the same.")
Also an old repeat performance was, "It is really just very sad..." (complete with patronizing little tone and hang dog expression..)
But today I got a new one too..."She is saying, I want an old fashioned love letter."
In reality, MINE not that of third parties, I am not saying that at all. What I am saying is that a number of those involved owe me an explanation, IN WRITING if they are too embarrassed by the audience they have created, and too unaware to know what personal boundaries might be, to figure out what the mysterious phrase, "talk DIRECTLY to me" and NOT to third parties, or my self appointed "interpreters."
What I want is not an "old fashioned love letter." It is an old fashioned acceptance of personal responsibility for the two faced behaviour and an apology for it, for starters.
Anything else, or nothing else, comes AFTER that.
I know a whole lot more NOW than I did then; thanks to all the endless acting out...which of course, does not "really" exist.
Connections exist between:
Homewood staff, cops, lawyers, doctors, a chartered accountant that used to sit at lunch with a firm of lawyers, the former fire chief, the Caduceus Club, Tuesday nights at Homewood, (free meal after work! Back then....still?) psych hospital patients, ex, current and now deceased) 12 Steppers everywhere, the Red Chev drinking establishment, my landlord and a co worker, who was involved with supplying the est-ee with information, the Rexall store employees downtown with a resident connection to S. Ave. Housing, a former sales associate at my old drug store, court clerks, library employees, bus drivers, and other city workers ..again all connected to Homewood employees, etc etc.....the Silver Dollar employees, to the gal with the Big Orange Hair, to the middle aged man following me around in a red half ton truck with a camper back back then and who still lives here......
Getting the picture of reality at all or all you all still in group denial about IT??
Many of them were (are?) reporting to the est-ee, just like in the est training demo.....once these were mostly "strangers to me" but there ARE connections to the event I did not know at the TIME. At one time they were all nearly, or total, "strangers to me" (you know?) that "symptom" THEY have....back then, I did not know the connections. I STILL don't know ALL of them or even all of their NAMES. But I know a hell of a lot more of them NOW then I did THEN.
Some of them are still acting out, including neighbours I have now, repeating to each others what former "others" (who of course can never be blamed) "told us all" ...like at the Red Chev.
THIS is how, and why, we "inferiors" see connections between things which you "superiors" "hiding" those connections, DON'T see. It is also how the delusion of one, determined to prove to himself what a superior human being he is, can become the delusion of many, who then close ranks to take care of their own interests when things, ya know...go bad. ... for the inferior one...but not for them.
This is considered to be "normal" group behaviour and if, I or anyone like me, expects anyone to admit to any of it, then we are assessed as having "unrealistic expectations."
Guess why those on the receiving end of group/mob abuse sometimes say, "this is just evil..." which is them promptly pathologized in order to keep from opening up any cans of worms.....
One of the "there she is, that's her there" guys who used to be at the downtown mall all the time, and is an artist, is now living in the building next to mine. Don't know if he is "socializing" about it with others or not. Also, the one in my notes I referred to as "the head shaver" who has acted out for me on the streets, with others; including the guy I call "Intrepid," who apparently talks just EVERYWHERE, and Caduceus Club member, Wendy T. who used to work in the burned out Gummer building downtown, as did, the accountant, who is also married to a Caduceus Club member, and who ate lunch with the group of lawyers, then acting out in the food court, (gasp for air) is now also either living right in my building or a constant visitor here..I expect the former. So should I expect another "covert" entry into my current apartment? (Besides the other 3...)
Tell me something all you normal people, all certain that you know, what you in fact, do not understand at all...would YOU feel safe living here among people who behave this way and who have no problem at all avoiding accountability for IT, by defining the experience as a perception/ reaction problem YOU are having? Would you smile at them and agree to go silent and be 'grateful' to them? ....just hypothetically speaking of course, as really, we all know here, that nothing actually happened...
I only THINK it did, because I am stupid and/or crazy, and that is why I 'deserve' to get the "booby prize of UNDERstanding in the "game of life.".
Reality (as the est-ee nurse has shown us all) is that which we experience. It is not defined by authority, or group consensus. So do you think that you will ever Get It? Or will IT, keep right on, getting you?
All a matter or perspective, isn't it?
This is how the self defined est-ee teaches others HOW to THINK.
(like an est-hole.....which is an ass-hole who gets really GOOD at BEING an ass-hole...)
"Life is a joke; it's a game of winners and losers."