While Those "Observers" Observe Me...[1] 

[1]  While making sure they, as the 'others',  don't get blamed for anything, of course.

Included on this page is a featured series  I now call: 

Therapeutic Chats- for the Acutely Normal 

A Psychiatrized Individual Observes and Assesses the Disordered Mob from HER point of view. This is the same mad mob which has defined her as “inherently defective” and the same Mob Members who “hide” in plain sight, while defining themselves as the “normal” and as the standard to emulate.  Are these observations born out of my “paranoid delusions and hallucinated conversations” as assessed by my observers, or are they just an account of every day reality which is being stated as it is by the individual while being denied by the delusional “normal.”  

Let's just look at it and see what truths may emerge from the looking without the usual defence of the dysfunctional status quo blocking the view.  

Is this Psychiatric Fiction or Unrecognized, Unadmitted Fact? 

Let the reader decide for him or herself.

Saturday's Student Assessment

''She's a weirdo...She doesn't socialize"...

A definition of "socializing." - getting together with others of like minds and enjoy making snotty, slanderous comments together about whichever ones aren't there doing it with you.

"Well I just don't believe it!"

"Well you can be sure she was never REALLY in that state as if she had been she would not have been able to handle it."

My people...it must be so very difficult for you people to get together and decide WHICH way is the one to go, as the way to invalidate me, and my experience of you...I mean do you agree I was in an altered mental state in which case you MUST "help" me with my inherent defectiveness, OR do you decide I was never "ill" at all, in any way, which makes you look stupid, or abusive, or manipulated by SOMEBODY??? I mean what version of my reality are you going to go for that will allow everyone ELSE involved in this ongoing event, that never existed, to come out of it looking good compared to inferior me? What a difficult one this is huh?

Why don't you ask the est-ee nurse what he would do? I believe it will have something to do with a balancing act at the nexus of meaning. Get him to teach you all how to talk without actually saying anything that anyone can ever pin down in terms of solid meaning...after all that is the true power of meaninglessness.

Saturdays' acting out:

"Well HE says he doesn't agree with her..."

"He says there is nothing he can do to help her."

Snarling middle aged female : "She's getting just what she deserves if you ask me..."

Which "he" is that in the first statement above?

Is that the SAME ''he'', in the second one, or a different "he" expressing his opinion to third parties? Could you give me a definition of the meaning of "help" in that one? Is "help" defined as another little something to reduce my awareness for me? Or is it concrete help which deals with reality by bringing the "hidden" truth about the whole group and the group behaviour out into the open...where it actually IS already of course, except that right now, those who want to belong to the group of superior humans have to pretend it is not really there....I only "think" it is because I am delusional OR I am only SAYING it is, just to seek attention...

I must say though that some of the local students actually liked my "exploding worm can" analogy... at least that is what I "imagined" I have heard......

Now ready? Concentrate really HARD in your effort to try to understand us "weirdos" and whack jobs" who "think" we have been "harmed by others" when REALLY we haven't been.

One: Most of the people who make these kinds of remarks by referring to me (and others also; don't assume I "think" this experience is unique to me as it sure is not) in the objective tense, as "she" or "her" or "him" etc, which is OBJECTIFYING me, are those who hardly know me, or don't know me at ALL. All they really know is their own story telling. Now do you understand that? Listen carefully. They are "strangers to me" and they are "people talking about me"- got that?

Many years ago there was a group of people I did not know acting this one out: One of the people defined as "he" apparently had this conversation with some of those forever blameless "others."

One of those "others" apparently said, that if "she" (me) "thinks" people are talking about her this proved I was "nothing but a whack job." Then this particular "he" said, "We are talking about her RIGHT NOW."

However, word was that the listeners could not quite make the mysterious connection between what "she thinks" and what they were doing. This is of course the very essence of reality splitting. These people ARE the strangers to the "subject" of all their talking, BUT they do not see themselves in that role because they believe all this shit they get going and to which they keep adding, is "hidden" from the ones they talk ABOUT but never TO.

Two: then the people on the receiving end of this, get their experiences pathologized for stating it exists. That is because it would not be "reasonable" for groups of people to behave the way their "subjects" only "think' they do. For why would strangers to the subject act out all they have heard from a few feet away and even spew verbal abuse at someone they don't even know?! Clearly, they would have "no reason" to do so. I must admit I AGREE with this statement. It isn't reasonable. It 's not reasonable at all. Then is where the split in reality enters the picture.

It is either that

(a.) therefore groups of people do not act out this way, and therefore I am either fabricating it or imagining it with my faulty little pea brain


(b.) I am telling the truth and groups of people are, in fact, capable of being very unreasonable and acting out like abusive jerks.

Q.E.D. When reality IS defined by group consensus and an "authority" supports the group we get this supportive construct- an alternate reality had to be created as the means of explaining AWAY the 'subject's' perception of, and reactions to, IT.

So it became MY problem, as defined by group consensus and supported by authority. That way it is not theirs.

Yes indeed, it IS about "responsibility." (as an abstraction)

Now complete the experience because-

estian concept; "Only completed experiences disappear."

..and WHEN will this be completed? That will be when you get past the estian statement-

''Reality is NOT that which is defined by authority or group consensus but IS that which you experience.''

Now ''MY item'', as I have said long ago, is est ITSELF. I have experienced IT, OUT of my personal ''space.'' Why don't the rest of you followers do the same?

COMPLETE your own experience so IT will disappear, as if like ''magic.''

Open yourselves up to THAT ''possibility.''


The Awareness Gap
See if you can decipher the mysterious difference in meaning between someone who no longer bothers speaking to you, even though she has no idea what you have to say to others about her, “covertly,” and the same person who knows everything you have to say about her, which is not “covert” at all.
Perhaps a committee of experts could help all of you find the hidden meaning in that.
Of  course those SAME experts will tell you that if you are looking for “hidden 
meaning”  that means you need an anti-psychotic. So be careful what you say, and to 
whom, while you look so hard for that which has  never actually been “hidden.”

Reality Swallowed Up by The DSM

(Delusionally Subjective Matrix) 

I told my last psychiatrist, who I actually liked as a human being, that what psychiatry is actually doing, is including what actually happens to people in relation to dysfunctional groups, in our sick SOCIETY, as a part of their evaluations inside the parameters of the diagnostics as if it were “symptoms” when it is, in fact, REALITY which is being denied. I meant it then and I mean it NOW.


Email:   patricia-counterpsych@live.ca
Website:   http://www.counterpsych.com

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