Well, I think mainly because if we DO that, it might show people that a lot of the reports about group behaviour and boundary violation of selected individuals are VALID, that wrong IS being done, that the people being "assessed" by dysfunctional groups ARE being harmed and that pathologizing everything individuals SAY about that is just plain WRONG.

This is, of course, where that "worm can" phobia enters into the picture. It is also often where a further abuse of power is frequently employed to silence the complainants who usually won't be HEARD, or taken seriously anyway, since even the SUGGESTION of a label of invalidation tends to block the hearing of all the "normal" duplicitous others. These of course, are the "others" who can never be blamed, as opposed to the individual "others" who CAN be blamed.

Now be sure to invalidate what I just said there by focusing on the level of my "complaining" about it and NOT on the legitimacy of the complaint ITSELF. Always remember that group dysfunction thrives on the concepts of focusing on WHO is talking, or being talked about, and NOT on WHAT is being talked ABOUT. The closing of ranks is there to protect the GROUP of loyalists from responsibility.

Remember the warped idea that "the needs of the many outweigh the rights of the few"; which is a pseudo-intellectual way of actually saying, "We like our scapegoats so that WE who are in agreement together, don't ever have to change our OWN minds."

Now for Those of You on the Receiving End of This

This is where those double binds come into the picture. They work like this:

"If you don't speak up for yourself then you "deserve"' what you get for failing to do so"

AND

If you DO speak up, it will be defined as whining, bitching, complaining, not caring about "others" (your critics) and therefore you 'deserve' what you get for that."

Now if you perceive that as like being caught between the proverbial rock and the hard place, it will then be your PERCEPTION of that, which will then be assessed as the problem. Get the idea there?

This is WHY nothing you say, as an EQUAL, in a two way communication, based on logic will ever penetrate that. They do not WANT to hear you. They have cast you in the role of "less than" right from the start and they are not relating TO you as an equal human, in a two way communication. You are in a ONE way relationship with your assessor which the assessor perceives as to, or ABOUT, the assessed; YOU. That is what objectification is all about.

There is NO genuine, direct communication there.

They do not WANT to know anything that is going to cause them to question their OWN attitude toward you. They want everything to stay just as it is, and you are threatening that BY pointing out the blatantly obvious. It is NOT obvious to THEM. Nor do they want it to be.

So stop trying to "reason" with what is not reasonable to start with. It won't work. However you ALSO can't just go silent, as THAT will only work against you also.

Some others have said to me over the last ten to fifteen years or so that they did not know HOW to deal with such people, without becoming just LIKE then, a sort of desperate "show and tell" kind of thing.

THIS is how:

Talk about the GROUP dynamic itself and the collective, entrenched mindset that keep reproducing It, generation after generation. Talk in groups with other "experiencers" in public places, such as where those who talk about "us" do that, like food courts, restaurants, libraries on buses etc. Talk about the group-think phenomenon itself and WHY it works. Do it in detail. Don't try to "get through" to those who won't HEAR you anyway. Remember that you don't have to NAME the people who do this, and sometimes you too might also be wrong about who is whom, as the 'switch" in this is all too common.

Remember to stick to what you actually KNOW for a fact, from your OWN concrete experiences of it. You can't assume that what you have "heard' from third parties ABOUT others is always true. People lie; including many of those ever-so-nice "normal" ones. Or sometimes, they also pass along as "truth" what they GENUINELY BELIEVE to BE truth, about others whom they barely know or don't know at ALL. So don't get caught up in THIRD PARTY evaluation sessions. Most of the time that will become just another version of the SAME dysfunctional group construct as it is "the devil we know." Just look closely at the dysfunctional GROUP construct, as a whole and see where YOU fit into that, in relation to your own FIRST HAND life experiences.

So you don't have to name anyone to make change happen. Since the people who do this to individuals routinely DENY doing it, or trivialize it, you can talk about what they DO and of course no one will ever know WHO you are talking about anyway, will they? For "logically" speaking how could anyone know about, or recognize, a behaviour that simply does not EXIST?

Expose the dysfunctional group "game" itself because just as it has been stated when the "game" has been given it's own NAME,

"...also, once understood, the estian conversion (or dysfunctional group-think) and it's accompanying behaviours would be stripped of their ability to provide the gratification which caused and maintained them." (cause AND effect "converted")

1. Fenwick, Chapter 16, page 180, Getting It; the Psychology of est

That's right. So examine the bully/controller behaviour and the thinking processes behind It. Do it in detail and dissect it publicly, like a hideous insect in a petrie dish, because the controllers/abusers don't like that KIND of attention to detail one bit. It just ruins all of their "fun."

They will never be able to silence ALL of us. It would COST too much.....and this type tend to think that everything is about money or profit. So use it against them. If the "game" gets too expensive for them, they will "let it go." (cease and desist)