Talking 'AT' My Psychiatrists

...While They Plug Their Ears and Hum Loudly

e.s.t. is a Statement of the Infinite in Latin -

"It is."


It is also the name of the concrete organization Itself (The Technology) Erhard Seminars Training, which I had remembered as ''sensitivity training.''

Those are the two definitions of est; abstract idea AND concrete existence. (not ''OR'')

The definition of It is, ''Nothing.'' IT IS NOTHING.

He is ''The Source'' of It for he ''has created something out of nothing.''

As the statement was made in est, ''There is nothing to get so you got It.''

(In whatever WAY YOU perceive that as; concrete OR abstract, OR both...)

Inside the training: ''I don't care WHAT you think. I already have your money.''

Cops and Psychiatrists: READ the damned book repeating the training concepts.

I don't know why but I keep on having this recurring thought for no reason at all;

''The Emperor of all Ass-holes'...'

I guess maybe I should stop looking for any reason for that huh?

There is this other thought I am having about the self defined est-ee allegedly claiming to some of his co-workers that est was ''the best investment I ever made.''

Just a cautionary thought here on that, in case it's true....

If you try to claim the Erhard, or est, taught you how to think and try to ''shift'' the responsibility for your own behaviour to him, he can say, and MEAN it, ''I have never told anyone what to think.''

That is how the guru who is operating ''over your heads'' deals with ''responsibility.''

You ''chose'' to let someone else do your thinking FOR you, (an ''authority'' figure) and then YOU decided you were ''finished'' when you took what YOU ''got''; ''finished'' in est being defined as ''the point where all further search stops.'' Of course, this ''game'' continues because ''only completed experiences disappear.''

Now you see, this ''game'' mirrors dysfunctional systems. You may remember mentioning to you in our few ambiguous conversations, that if you thought est was interesting you might like to read language theory or information theory....or will you have to go wide-eyed and mystified about that too???? depending upon which version of ''reality'' the co-workers had been given ''covertly''? Is that It?

You see INSIDE of IT, some of us understand It and know IT is wrong and that IT is the real problem.

Some of us on the other hand understand IT and don't CARE about right or wrong but see It as an opportunity to gain POWER.

And MOST of us INSIDE IT simply don't get It at all and prefer not to look at IT too closely, preferring instead to see and hear nothing. (wink)

Ha! The concrete identity of the metaphysical structure Itself. Do you get the ''joke''? A tautological argument that circles back on itself, appearing to explain something, while actually explaining NOTHING! HA! The ''Source'' has indeed "created 'something out of nothing''!

So really it should be that ''something and nothing are the same thing,'' technically speaking huh est-ee? Technically, your quote was a bit off for after all, est isn't really ''everything'' is just SOMETHING made out of nothing....See it is how you HEAR that which gives It it's TRUE meaning for YOU connected to your OWN concrete goal.

MY concrete goal is to explain the structure of IT as a stand-alone entity. Personally I have no use for IT in any other way. Be careful now not to compare YOUR experience of IT with mine.

To ME, this is a demonstration of how we end up with large groups of ''normal'' people being manipulated into performing horrendous acts of abuse, up to and including mass murders and then denying the whole thing and/or blaming the victims for IT. You Holocaust deniers.

It is also why we end up with some psychiatrists of German descent letting us now how very ''normal'' the German people are, and then telling us that it was therefore, the ''taking of a victim stance that brought it all down on their own heads''... followed immediately of course by the instant denial of victim blaming; because as we all know the victim blaming, and the denial of the victim blaming, always go together. Interestingly, to me anyway, the SAME profession was a part of the problem... I mean solution of course....way back THEN too.

The superior people practised killing techniques on the defective mental patients. This profession, not so unlike the est-ee, has unquestioned power, over others and also ''creates and defines reality itself'' for a select group of people, for whom it also defines '''normal.'' Quite an interesting parallel huh?..especially in MY fascinating case in which BOTH est-ee and psychiatry have played roles the THEN head of the hospital studied est at HARVARD psychiatry! Yet he did not recognize the quote from It......

This is not terrifying because it is abnormal monsters who do it. It is terrifying because one or two, normal "sounding," and often outgoing "social" type individuals, can so easily manipulate the masses of the "normal" people to act out this way and act like it is the most amusing, entertaining experience they have ever had. That is the "lesson" of It and why Fenwick asks,

"Can you get It; Can IT get YOU?"

Because it is in HOW you hear It and how YOU use IT, going in which DIRECTION, which makes the difference in MEANING. Apart from context it is all but MEANINGLESS. This is the "lesson" that is NOT being learned despite this contrived, ambiguous "enlightenment" or "education." For it is the WHOLE structure that must be understood; not one "side" OR the other "side."

The entire structure is a LOSING structure. Why do you think the guru states..."you may as well.... (decide to be a "winner" inside the losing paradigm?) "you can't change anything anyway.." ( is that the, "if you can't beat them; join them, philosophy?)

Of course that statement from him is all abstraction as well, isn't IT?

You see, the people who "choose" a "side" of reality like:

"Powerful" OR "Powerless"

"Total control" OR "Totally controlled"

"Winners" OR "Losers" etc.

are all in a "contest" with us that we are not in. That is WHY 'we" don't understand them. We don' t think the same WAY that they do. That is because "we," defined by them, as the "losers" in "the game", think in terms of self definition and personal empowerment with boundaries.

Of course to THEM, the fact that we don't understand them, "proves" to them that 'we" are "inferior" to them. It would never occur to them BECAUSE they are in contest mode, that "we" actually understand something BETTER than they do. What "we" understand is that is it the "game" ITSELF that is the meaningless "joke" (not "life") which is being promoted by assholes as "superiority." People who live in contest mode can't see that, nor HEAR anything outside of their own "game." THAT'S the problem. The problem, just LIKE It's solution, is on the meta level; not the physical level.

Changing "NOTHING" into Something and then BACK Again into the NOTHING It Is.

For you really know people that pretending you haven't done anything and that your aren't really duplicitous, as a whole group, doesn't REALLY make "something" just "disappear." In fact, if you don't change SOMETHING, IT will make YOU disappear. So take that "nothing" that the "Source" (of all evil?) turned into "something" and show IT to be the meaningless NOTHING that IT has always been.

Throw the other kind of "switch;" the one that turns on some REAL "enlightenment" so that EVERYONE can see IT for what IT IS- absolutely NOTHING passing Itself off as really "something", which everyone is going to pay for. ( In one way OR another)

Time to give "The Source" his own prize back.

The NAME of IT is "Nothing."

So when the Homewood experts on all things mental, told me that "nothing had happened," and that I was just paranoid and delusional if I thought that "something" did, that statement made BY THEM is a confirmation of the power of est, TO the est-ee AND a denial of IT all at the same time! Of course that is HOW the est-ee HEARS the "effects" of his "game." He is "at cause" while I, as the targeted "item" and all of you, who were successfully manipulated, right from "the START of the action," to perceive reality as It's opposite, are "at effect."

Zen-like then: "Everything (that happened here) AND "nothing" (as est itself is defined to be) are the SAME thing."

For est is meaningless from start to finish; not "life"...est. THAT is also "switched." Did you fail to see IT? The guru said that you would.

Of course the "est-ee" KNOWS this from the start. Whereas I, as the "item" being "experienced out of his circle" only figure that out AFTER it is too late.

So that is how he "wins" by setting his goal FIRST and THEN "recreating It, out here, in the world of reality."

This is the result that you see here, when I as (one of) his targets had at least HEARD of est, and knew something about it . Can you imagine the odds against getting anyone to believe you, or even to ever be able to figure out what happened to you, if you had never even HEARD of IT? At least this "item" knew WHERE to start looking for more information. Many people would not know. Only one of my psychiatrists had heard of it.

(Dr. Ethics from Harvard not included)

The power is REAL. I am sure the sociopaths among us really enjoy using It too. Perhaps at least a few of you can see WHY now?

Eventually, if not stopped, IT collapses in on Itself, not unlike a black hole in empty space. That is the "space" the guru and his followers are making for themselves. But what would I know? Don't listen to ANYTHING I say, including this of course, since it is a part of "anything."

So now, It is really about creating NOTHING out of Something.

"It's about responsibility." True. It sure is.

The guru is spiritually, and quite literally, "The Source''" of his own pain" just as he says IT IS . For HE is BOTH "at cause AND at effect." To believe that one has "total control" OR is "totally controlled is nothing but a two faced delusion. The "Final solution" IS the problem AND the problem IS the "final solution." It depends upon where you see the END of the action. The end of the action and the start of the action rest on the same point. That point is pointless.

There is no REASON in what he does AND, there is a reason FOR what he does.

You see Erhard (Err-HARD) has taken dysfunctional group relating and the superior/inferior split to It's extreme conclusion, where, zen-like, It exists and does NOT exist, at the same time.

So, when the Homewood administration told me that "nothing happened" the little smirk on the est-ee' s face and the amused eye glow went that step beyond the dysfunctional "norm" of the family bully, blaming the victim and getting away with it.

It "works" because all of the "normal" people who are manipulated by the controller with the hidden agenda, into participating in It, can be expected, when "things" go badly for THEM, to close ranks, deny the event, or, at the very least, minimize It, or trivialize the "effects" and/or justify It. What they WON'T do is look right AT It or accept responsibility for their own part in It.

It is also why we get some psychiatrists, who supposedly know better than the amateur thinkers, making public statements about the victims/targets which suggest THEY are to blame for what happened TO them. For if the victims "took a victim stance" then doing so put them "at cause" of their own assaults and murders. The aggressors then can't be blamed for THAT can they? In fact, it helps the aggressors to justify themselves for their own actions. That is just what they want; reinforcement of their "superiority."

It's about "the switch." The Pro version of "the game" is BOTH admission AND denial at the same time which of course makes IT, MEANINGLESS.

For you see folks, in reality, (the one we ALL live in) the est-ee and I, understand most of the same things. It is only the difference in position and motivation that changes the meaning of IT. He believes it is a choice between being in "total control" OR "totally controlled."

I believe it is a choice between self control, on BOTH sides of that (Restraint and Self Direction)


Being a polarized idiot choosing between two dysfunctional, irrational extremes.

I prefer my OWN understanding as there is no under-standing from my perspective on It. That is because I am not in It; I am outside of IT and from where I stand, we are one AND we are many. There is only ALL of "us." That's reality for everyone. YOU Get over IT.

Messages from an old Sci-Fi Movie

"We now have discrimination down to a science."

Gattica, 1997. Sci Fi

A movie about "genetics" for which the discriminating results are termed "genoism."

(kind of like "Mentalism" huh?

Thanks Pat Risser. I miss you. Hope to see you in an alternate universe.....)

Current Blog Article: e.s.t. is a Statement of the Infinite in Latin -

Thanks to Loren Mosher for his endless trying to have us all be HEARD as human beings

The last line of Getting It: the Psychology of est is

“The only way to stop a nightmare is to wake up.”

So Homewood- WAKE UP! Wake up to the REALITY that is right in front of you!

Take the LEAP!


And Yes...words CAN heal us all, even psychiatrists, but not for as long as you are plugging your ears and humming loudly so that you won't have to hear them.


For more information and inquiries, contact:
Patricia, Site Owner

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