Talking 'AT' My Psychiatrists

...While They Plug Their Ears and Hum Loudly

Why Yes Indeed...Everything and Nothing ARE the Same Thing

In my experience of reality here, as often as not, the stories accepted as true are fabricated and the stories passed along by the liars, supported by those who just repeat everything they hear, are what is fabricated.

Then, we have the ones who believe that reality can be defined as an abstraction. These are the ones who are "certain that they know" everything even though what they really know is "NOTHING." (Are you Homewoodians getting the full effects of the "hilarity" in this? As an extra bit of humour; my word processing program just suggested that when I wrote "Homewoodians" I really meant, "comedians." Perhaps it knows better?)

All Too Often individual's "paranoid delusions and hallucinated conversations" is the definition given to the individuals' reporting of an experience with an aggressor/controller and a group of followers gossiping about all they have "heard" about the target, which they then pass along to everyone they know, with "value added" as well as information left out, or "spun," so it makes for a better, and more entertaining, story. Then, they deny the whole thing and that "proves" how right they were to treat the individual with such dismissive, or vicious, contempt in the first place.

This generates a paradox in which the individual is trapped with no way OUT and THAT is often the CAUSE of the breakdown, or the desire to commit suicide; the need to stop the event, the intolerable pressure, and the ongoing psychological isolation. It never ends because no one ( else) can ever be held accountable for any of it. Proclaiming it all to be a self contained condition assures that. "It's about responsibility," in the estian version.

"Individual responsibility is diminished because of the number of people involved."

Fenwick in the estian analysis

What people, they ask? No one.

Involved in WHAT then? Why "Nothing" (the concrete MEANING of est)

"It works" BECAUSE the people who are manipulated to participate in IT can be expected to deny they DID anything, or that they have seen, or heard, anything at all. So they then close ranks, take care of their own interests, as they understand them to be, and claim that NOTHING happened. Since that is the definition of est itself, (In my own case) it is a TRUE statement, just as they ALSO say inside the training: "Everything that is being said is TRUE except what (or who) is driving It has been switched."

Then the reporting of the incident by the individual gets pathologized. "It's about your agreements." (another estian concept)

Dysfunctional Group "Bait'

(Let's see what kind of a "reaction" we can get to this....)

and "switch! "She" has no self awareness and no awareness of us and what we are doing..."


"She" is GIVING you the reaction which is based on HER awareness of "us" and your "testing" to see what kind of a reaction you can get from her.


"She' has more self awareness than any of "us" and more awareness of us than WE do and we have a serious LACK of self awareness and are therefore lacking in awareness of her as well.

For self awareness, and other awareness, go together.

Through the Looking Glass and Into Wonderland We Go

The superior "testers" are "hiding" from themselves as they split reality down the centre to accommodate their own delusional state. For the "inferior tested" are self aware and aware of their testers, though, up till now, they have not been able to see the POINT of the "testers"" perfectly OBVIOUS performance. But that is because WHAT the superior "testers" do is pointless.

There is no reason IN what they do, but there is a reason FOR what they do. That reason it to "prove" their "superior" mental status to THEMSELVES. And THAT'S their goal, right from the start of their own action. It is also called "delusional reversal."

Of course those IN that state do not recognize it in themselves and don't WANT to either since doing so would defeat their purpose.

You don't "get through"' to "superior" people because they don't WANT you to do that. So everything, or anything, you try to do, or to say, which does not support their self delusion, or even if you start just giving up the effort, MUST be invalidated BY them as the means of preserving their OWN state of mind, just as IT IS. Controllers try to control with a sense of ENTITLEMENT to do that which is directly related to their self perception as superior to the one being controlled. So if you fail to co-operate, or you reject their definitions of you, or their attempts to control, the fault can ONLY be found to be in you, as it sure as hell is not going to be THEIR problem.

The ONLY way to stop It is to expose the "game" itself from start to finish, as the tautology (infinite loop) that it is, and do so in lots of detail. Why?

Because understanding it will RUIN it. What they cannot control, they RUN from; especially if the game itself is exposed for what it it.

I know. It is hard to wrap your minds around this when you are on the receiving end of it. Nevertheless, it's true. The people who are acting out and treating you like you aren't really there, those as obvious as fresh dog turds dropped on a snow bank, don't KNOW you can see them and hear them on the LEVEL that you do, because THEY aren't really "there" in THATMOMENT with you. They have split reality ITSELF in two, within their own minds, to accommodate their own delusional state.

So in a way, they ARE "hidden from inferior minds." It is just that the minds they are "hiding" from are their OWN.

Feeling like you "aren't really there", when you talk to such people is a common feeling and it is what David Rosenhan, M.D. was talking about decades ago when he took on the role of psych patient and stated that. It is the contrived "them and us" invisibility factor that goes with the splitting of reality itself.

The Controllers

So all controllers treat those they want control over in much the same way. Of course it does not always have it's own NAME like with the est-ee, but it is still much the same.

They all decide FOR you what you will see, hear, know and understand, and then they treat you "as if" that is who you really are. There is no debate nor resistance to their agenda "allowed."

When they are in actual positions of concrete power, you will not be "allowed" to tell them anything they don't want to know, nor ask them any questions they don't like and don't want to answer. If you do that it may well be called, "having problems with authority."(as an abstraction apart from concrete specific details) That will be used to show how "right" they are. Eventually, you will come to understand that there is no resolution possible with them. It is of no interest to them at all and it never was. That TOO will be understood BY them, to be your failure. That's automatic. Everything is, and that's the point. That is their premise of thought AND their goal. YOU are their 'subject"; not their equal.

"Coincidentally" in my own case, inside the est-ee nurse's training, which is kept "secret" from non-estians, Fenwick says, "You cannot reason with the trainer nor can you get him to just leave you alone..."

(and yes female loudmouth on the street, I DID think he had a "secret power" but It's a secret being kept from YOU, not me. Imagine now how an est-ee who KNOWS that he has a "secret power" he is using on me, and knows, that I know that, too, is so very amused by your "interpretation" of my truth as a "symptom" of MY defective brain, which HE is directing you to perceive in that way and you don't even know it! Pretty damned good and effective power huh? I am "at effect" to his being "at cause" and so are YOU...and only he and I really KNOW that....)

So my experience here, where "really" there is no est exercise or routine going on, according to all the experts involved, and "NOTHING HAPPENED" (yuk yuk) sure is loaded with an absolutely AMAZING number of COINCIDENCES, isn't IT?

Current Blog Article: Why Yes Indeed...Everything and Nothing ARE the Same Thing

Thanks to Loren Mosher for his endless trying to have us all be HEARD as human beings

The last line of Getting It: the Psychology of est is

“The only way to stop a nightmare is to wake up.”

So Homewood- WAKE UP! Wake up to the REALITY that is right in front of you!

Take the LEAP!


And Yes...words CAN heal us all, even psychiatrists, but not for as long as you are plugging your ears and humming loudly so that you won't have to hear them.


For more information and inquiries, contact:
Patricia, Site Owner

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The Bottom Line

Divided Brain

We who see and hear are understood by the “normal” who do not see themselves as like us, as the “disease” invading the “healthy' body of humanity. Actually we are more like the anti biotic injected into the dysfunctional pandemic infecting society which has gone almost out of control via group contagion.

If you like the disease analogy, try that one for a change of pace. Below is an entertaining  look at the divided brain theory by Dr. Iain McGilchrist. There is a lot there. You can watch it many times before you actually see and absorb it all. It is all quite entertaining and it is here because it promotes it's own interests by being here. See if you notice any threads of connection to a similar view held by me and many a “nut” like me. Enjoy.

Psychiatric Tautologies 

Does the fact that I “think” I am being observed as a 'fascinating' case actually MAKE me a fascinating case?


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I just wish that I was still in my child bearing years because NOW I could try giving birth to a transcendent child and call him or her “Rainbow” or perhaps “Space.”

Then I could say to the est-ee psychiatric nurse,  still in the loop, “I have made a Space for myself....” and he could really dig

Those who “objective” observe inferior specimens have no sense of BEING observed BY those specimens, which they are SUBJECTIVELY observing. Think like equal humans and watch “Reality” change while it remains exactly the same.

Paranoid Patty’s Zen exercise