by Patricia Lefave, Monophrenic
...Or some other version thereof, as well as a few other psychiatric labels often used.
In many cases, there is the presence of someone who has a "covert" agenda of domination going, or who is trying to "prove" his/her "superiority" to him/herself.
That person splits off from his own
lack of SELF
awareness, projects his split onto the other, then denies it. The other person is treated like an object, or non sentient being, to accommodate the Splitter's self delusion. The Splitter makes the other's "reality" FIT
into the Splitter's neediness.
Splitters commonly create double binds for their targeted "inferiors" by denying the other's awareness of their splitting. It is actually the Splitter who is unaware of the contradiction in him/herself. The splitter's target
sees it as obvious but it is NOT
obvious to the splitter, because the SPLITTER
is the delusional point of origin
, or "source," of the problem.Concrete example from real life:
An eleven year old girl is placed in charge of her four and a half year old sister. They go outside together. The eleven year old, who used to throw temper tantrums when she could not get her own way, before that
baby came along, is now, not getting the attention from the parents that she used to get, "because of HER."She is "just stupid,"
she tells her friend from down the street. Watch
, she says, I'll show you."
The eleven year old then tells the four and a half year old to go and sit on a spot on the back lawn and to wait there until she comes back to get her. I am just going around the front for a minute
, she says.
So, the four year old does as he is told because she must
. Her mother has told her that she must
do as the eleven year old says as she is in charge.
The eleven year old then walks with her friend to the side
of the house, about ten feet away, turns and peeks back at the four year old from around the corner and says to her friend, also standing there, "look at her...see how stupid she is? She doesn't even get up when we leave."
The four year old is taking all of this in, looking right AT
them and is confused by it all. What does the sister think she is doing. The four year old does not
understand it. In fact, the four year old is having trouble making any sense of it.
The eleven year old notes the confusion on the younger one's face and says, "See? Look how confused she looks.- like she doesn't understand."
The younger one then feels even MORE
confused so she calls out, in her clearly distressed voice, to the older one, "why are you doing this to me"?
The older one sighs, then smiles, her eyes glowing with obvious amusement, and says she is ''not DOING
You see, the older
sister is a self deluded splitter. What she means
by "not doing anything" is that she is not doing anything, of which she
has decided the younger one, upon whom she is PROJECTING
her own split, could possibly be aware,
or understand. In fact, the lack of awareness
is the problem of the older
one and not
the younger one. At the time though NEITHER
of the pair knows that, so the younger one tries to "make sense" of the SENSELESSNESS
of the older one while the older one refuses, or simply does not see, the senselessness of her own
thinking and behaviour. That is because the older one is operating from emotion,
The older one sees her senseless thinking and behaviour as "superior" to the younger one, who "can't make any sense of it" because the contradictory
information, set up, and behaviour is OBVIOUS
to a four year old. This is how ''reality" gets "transformed" into it's opposite, via metaphysical "magic" which also
fools most of the third
parties who get involved, and who don't understand it either. They too
look for ''reason'' where there is no reason (logic) in the first place. It's idiotic, but it is SO
idiotic that the target of the TRULY
''stupid'' ones can't make sense
of it. That of course, is because '''sense'' has nothing
to do with it.
Though you may assume that the obvious and the idiotic needs no in depth explanation, that is exactly
to be explained, as it is the obvious
that is being denied.
Those of us who see
that, skip over ''explaining'' it too, since we believe there is no NEED
to ''explain'' the obvious. After all, who needs to SAY
, ''I can see you and hear you''
to someone who is six feet away? Who over the age of three does not
know that? I will tell you who- it is the TRULY
deluded ones, those who rarely
get labelled or assessed, who think their idiocy is ''superiority.'' These are the ones who need to face reality.
They are also
the ones who will fight us, and fight hard, when we try to make
them do it. You can count on it, because they are fighting VERY
hard to AVOID
becoming self aware, and to avoid accountability
for their own stupid behaviour. Becoming self aware RUINS
their ''superiority,'' and ''proving'' their ''superiority'' over others, to themselves
, is the reason (purpose) they do, what they do, in the first place. The premise and
the goal rest on the same
point and creates a self serving tautology
The only way they can be the ''winners'' in the ''game'' they are playing, in their own minds, is by remaining inside
their own delusion. It does not occur to them that their ''winner/loser'' delusion IS
the problem. They externalize that problem via denial, and Splitter projection. As the system likes to tell us; if you are REALLY
crazy you don't know
Now, to see how splitters ''split the difference'' look back at the highlighted parts and understand that the splitters are deluding themselves
of those pieces of information are being kept ''concealed'' from the ''inferior'' one they are testing, as the means of ''proving'' their superiority to themselves. Delusional Reversal
Now when we on the receiving end of this ask
the one doing it "why are you doing this to me" or "what are you doing", or "what do you think you are doing", the one doing
it won't tell
us and often laughs while rolling his/her eyes up as they do it. Can you now figure out WHY
we can't get a straight answer
from any of them? Let me help you with that. It is because the self deluded one is telling him/herself that I am too stupid to know that s/he is trying to get a distress reaction. S/he is also telling him/herself that it is OK because it is being done to the one s/he is doing it to, because that one "does not understand it."
Can you HEAR
that last bit? THAT
is a true statement at the nexus of meaning. We are not asking them why they are telling
us one thing, while saying, being or doing the opposite, though even when we do
we won't get an answer to that
either as the deluded ones can't really hear
the QUESTION. What we are asking them most
of the time is why they won't answer
us or why they are trying
to get a distress reaction.
The deluded ones hear those questions
as signs of our
stupidity. We don't understand that their little "game" doesn't really include
us as anything more than props in their own
fantasy world. We don't know
you see, that they are getting a kind of rush out of causing
distress for others. This is the spirit of the bully and the spirit of a bully who manipulates others to co-operate with his/her HIDDEN
agenda. We don't know
that because we don't think like
self deluded nuts.
Nevertheless we often are the ones who get labelled as the delusional ones BECAUSE
it would not be "reasonable" for whole groups of people to get involved and act out the way we "say" they do. QED
: WE must
be 'crazy' for seeing it, and experiencing it, so that whole groups of people WON'T
be crazy for acting out that way. In order to get the "superior" sister to hear
the question, the four year old would first have to know that the eleven year old is psychologically deaf to it, and would ALSO
have to already know that she needed to define the "this" in the question, in pedantic detail
, to even HOPE that any real communication would ever take place. She would also have to know that the eleven year old is really not interested at all in communication or how the four year olds feels
Why are you telling me to sit on a spot in the back yard and not move until you tell me I can? Why are you being duplicitous while looking so proud of it? Why are you then peeking out at me from the side of the house, telling your friend that I am stupid and indicating that you are going to prove that, giving me your little test, trapping me in a psychological double bind, trying to get a distress reaction, abusing your power over me, talking ABOUT me, within hearing distance like I am not there, trying to make yourself feel "superior" for acting out like an idiot, and then calling the distress reaction you are obviously TRYING
to get, a perception/reaction problem that I am having?
The four year old would then have to explain
the behaviour of the eleven year old to the parents
, get them to accept it as reality, which they won't
, as it would not be reasonable
for the eleven year old to do what the four year old "claims" she did and then listen to them explain it away,
as a problem in
the four year old most often defined as being "too sensitive." Most often the four year old would be invalidated by describing her as "fabricating" the other's behaviour for the purpose of "seeking attention" while the eleven year old looked the four year old right in the eye and SMILED.
For you see, only the two
of them would actually understand the truth of the situation and the eleven year old would then know she had achieved domination over the four year old, and that the four year old knew
it and alsoknew
that the eleven year old knew
that she did. Now that's "satisfaction" to junior sociopaths, isn't it?
One of the older images of the Devil and Hell is that of of a group of followers carrying pitch forks used as weapons. I am sure that imagery came out of the time
period when farmers got together to hunt down people targeted
as crazy, or evil, or as witches and took their pitch forks with them as part of the hunt.
Now, tell me again about the meaning of "realistic expectations." WHOSE
"expectations" are the most realistic
in this kind of scenario?...you know, as an abstract theory, which all you expects can enjoy talking about in lecture halls etc. while finding everyone BUT
you, so "fascinating."
Are you now having trouble keeping from ''laughing for no reason''?
It might be a good idea to adopt splitter
language and definitions as part of the strategy for those who projected upon,
to break the cycle and escape the co dependent trap. The projectors are the Splitters, and those they project upon
are the monophrenics, (single minded and aware) who are currently
defined most often as the schizophrenics, or some version thereof, bi polars or personality disorders.
Psychological double bind. She must not
move AND if she does not move she is just stupid.