By Patricia Lefave, Labelled D.D. (P.) in 11 cost effective minutes
A lot of us think the DSM reads more like a horoscope, a shopping list, or a recipe for cooking up a description for a ''disease process."
There is often a list of "symptoms" and those who are trained to retain the list, listen expectantly for the ingredients on it, suggesting the presentation of a half-baked (you might say...) "illness."Something like this:
Is the half baked one who sits there before you, presenting with (remember the jargon) flour, salt, tomatoes, cheese, yeast, salt, meat, mushrooms, green peppers, sugar or water? What about anchovies? Does anything smell at all fishy to you?
Now if you hear at least six ingredients on the recipe list, then this obviously means you have a pizza right there before you, as there are enough ingredients to identify a pizza.End of diagnostic criteria.
Or are there?
Well, just for fun, let's look at one individual's specific experience in life with just those very ingredients.
The Flour- that part is actually out of a discussion with a doctor about gluten.
The Salt - that one came out of the expression 'the salt of the earth" and was not about literal "salt" by Sifto.
The Tomatoes- that was the jargon the identified patient's grandfather used when talking about women. They were not "hot" in his time frame. They were "tomatoes."
The Yeast- this was related to an infection
The Cheese – there were two references to this in the identified patient's narrative. One was used in the saying, "the cheese stands alone." The other one was when the patient said she often liked to cut it.....
The Meat- she said that a former partner, abusive and controlling, treated her like she was a piece of....
The Mushrooms- She said she really liked those, even raw in salads.
The Green Peppers- was the name of a band she was once in back in high school. She said too bad they did not call themselves a different pepper name like red hot chili, for example. Then she laughed but the psychiatrist had no idea why. (other than that's what "they" do...)
The Sugar- she mentioned that she had really reduced that in her diet.
The Water- they discussed how older people often forget to drink enough of that and often tend to dehydrate and even mimic dementia like symptoms because of it.
During these discussions, the doctor of course, has had his eyes rolled up in his head, checking his own programming, the whole time the identified patient had been talking, unaware that the doctor was listening very carefully through the filter of his own beliefs, which he was of course, keeping to himself. One does not talk as an equal to those of untrained, lesser mind. The covert thought processes of the doctor will not come into the picture of awareness for the I.P. until AFTER
the labeling has taken place. Then, when s/he hears about the "symptoms" she has "presented with" she MAY
be able to make the connection. Of course by then, the label is already in place and once there it is harder to get rid of than termites in a log cabin...or perhaps in this case it should be like bats in your belfry, used as a more apropos analogy. You now have Pizza Syndrome.
( and this is in the case of one of the SLOWER
diagnostician's who have never even come CLOSE
to winning the Speed Diagnosing Championships
as promoted and sponsored by the Psychiatric Times!)
But that is an improvement or what they used
to say. They used to say you ARE
A Pizza. They have corrected the public on this now and insist that others NOW
say, You HAVEPizza Syndrome.
That is how the "stigma' of your inherently defective, Pizza State has been removed in these modern, more enlightened times.
In any case, once you have been defined by experts as a pizza, you're a pizza, because they
have seen all of your ingredients making you a pizza, on a list; and they defined the MEANING
of that list themselves. You will either now agree
to accept it and comply OR
you will be understood to be a resistant, difficult pizza, still half baked, in denial, and with no insight into your own condition
Now while it is TRUE
that if you combine all of those ingredients together in, a certain way, you can make a tasty pizza, the ingredients themselves
, apart from any specific concrete context , evidence of how they are used, or action related to them, do not, in, and of themselves
, "prove" the existence of a pizza, even if the doctors listening to the words are SURE
they can almost taste one and smell one already half baked.
Nor does it prove that the person who spoke most of the words of the ingredients list, IS
one, has one already half baked, or is in denial about the existence of the pizza as a condition. In fact, sometimes, not always or never, it is those who see
and hear the existence of pizzas everywhere, and not anything else, who are the ones fabricating alternate realities, which cause them to feel sure they SEE
things like pizzas, even though they aren't really
there at all.
This has much to do with the human propensity for seeing and hearing things through the filter of our preconceived ideas and prefab expectations.
Of course, such fixed beliefs, despite any and all evidence to the contrary, are called "delusions" and they are called that, even by the SAME
people who, without any doubt in their minds at all, are still seeing and hearing things that aren't really there,, mainly because they expect
to see and hear them.