If you all would like to get the name of this person, which is still not known by me of course, since I am just “the subject,” here is a list of people you might want to contact, who according to the city wide and beyond, acting out, have ALL had some kind of contact with him and with discussions of me as “the subject,” which is either in my own awareness and/or acted out by others. (Not that any of them “really” DO this of course...)
He is also involved with A.A. In some way and many a local 12 stepper has felt entitled to express an opinion of me and/or this guy, based on all that confidentiality that goes on in all these meetings. It is almost as good as the Homewood staff “confidentiality.” Some of these ones live in the same apartment complex that I do now, though hopefully I will not be here for too much longer....
The individuals involved with guy, who has allegedly kept me as his topic for over twenty years now include:
A woman who has short blond hair and glasses, middle aged, and who I believe works in the court system. She may be a friend of Nancy C. at the library. At one time she used to take the Woodlawn bus where she used to talk ABOUT me, in quite the negative way, with others, while not actually knowing who I was, although she later was acting it out, when she found out my name ( “It's Pat”-smirk), which she announced to another friend in the centre aisle of the Eaton Centre. This was back when the court house was there temporarily. Oh, and this woman has also been seen and heard by me, whom she does not actually KNOW by the way, in any way other than her ongoing gossip sessions, expressing her opinions to/with others, in the downtown Rexall store, where I no longer shop after listening to YEARS of slanderous commentary from some of the staff there. This has allegedly included suggesting I am a thief and apparently the manager, who used to talk to me like a human being, has jumped right on board with that. Try checking with those like “B” who used to get regular updates on all the latest “fun” going on inside Homewood, as reported to her, by a resident of housing on S. Ave. who got it from the regulars from the addiction unit, who lived there then, when he did. He used one of the bus stops that I did, when I had a client nearby. Oh and HE used to work in a factory with a former bus driver, now retired also I think, who was among those passing all the latest stories along also. (Old Route 7 St. Joe's) He (the S.Ave housing Resident) is also the one who cleared up the identity of the “volunteer” who was now with a Homewood doctor, who it was once rumoured by some staff there, was me. That was once when I was mistakenly referred to, often by the est-ee and others as, a “volunteer.” Apparently the staff there forgot to chain gossip that correction back when they got it figured out.
You might also check with Mark at the library, who was seen by me, years ago, outside the library, talking to the same guy. You should also check with retired shoe salesman Vin J. who was seen many times, having many an interesting chat with the same guy and who in turn passed along a fair amount of information for assessment to many others. (Tim T. Included) Though that "Intrepid" connection seems to have come to an end, the discussions have continued and many folks who now hang out at the Cornerstone, continue to assess and evaluate the situation as they understand it...from a nice safe distance away of course.
Also DO try to contact our former Fire Chief Shawn A, now in Kingston , as he too has been seen in discussion in the past with the same guy. That was on a visit to the book store cafe at the big mall; also many years ago. Don't forget to check in with Prof Richard P.. likely retired as have not seen him recently either, who has kept many informed of all the latest in gossip, also out at the mall food court and the restaurant that is now closed. If you need to locate him, check with the table wipers in the food court as I am a long standing topic of theirs also, especially with the one with the light brown straight hair and glasses who sits and gossips frequently with many of the regulars.
Or you could just check in with the guy with the gray hair and beard who works in the downtown camera shop as he has been privy to much news from Richard P, while riding on the mall bus with him..(used to be on Route 10 and now Route 8) and which he has passed along to still others, sometimes on the street, outside the old store, . ..Or perhaps try Roseanna (Homewood employee seen with him also)
Also please be sure to connect with the guy I referred to in my well ignored reports to Homewood Admin and others, as “the head shaver” also seen by me in this man's company in the past; tall thin guy with a dog, who now lives upstairs in the same building and I believe his first name is Will. It is also rumoured that “Intrepid” has once again, connected with one of the females on my floor, a long standing “covert” critic of mine, who feeds him information. Recently she allegedly suggested she thought she needed to get rid of this guy according to the building gossip machine... (not that there IS one of course) And when talking to this one to get all the latest, also check with someone seen talking to him in the downtown, more than once in the past who is a member of the Caduceus Club (and believe me it is a “club”) Wendy T.. .Wendy T. has also acted out many times for me in the downtown area, no doubt while “hiding” like everyone else involved in the “NOTHING that happened here,” though I do believe she may have left to go elsewhere.
Now Wendy T. FYI, used to work in the Gummer building downtown. I know this because she said so once on the CTV news. (though they had the wrong surname there) Also someone who worked in that same building was accountant Andy S. and guess what? He is married to another Caduceus Club member Rosemary D. (who I always liked by the way from the old answering service days and from hearing reports about her from my clients) Now this accountant used to sit and chat with the lawyers from the McE & M office, who also liked to talk about their version of what was going on inside Homewood. That is, in fact, why I later sent them some snail mail copies of the attempt by me to get through to the staff and administration there at Homewood about what Dale T. and a group of his co-workers was actually doing. You know; since they were among the ones so fascinated by it all. I
n fact two of them had already been inside Homewood while I was still working in there in and after checking out my name tag as I walked through the downstairs hallway, announced, “That's her.”
I don't think one of those two is here anymore but “junior” is. Though I must admit I missed some of that food court gossip session, as I was sometimes distracted by the acting out of the three amigos from the workfare office who also went for lunch down there. (fuzzy face, Roman and the guy with the glasses and hat.) I suspect they are all retired now of course. However the female who sits out front in reception there is never short an opinion, so check with her if you can't find any of them. I am sure she will be more than happy to "interpret" me for you.
These discussions took place in the food court of this mall after I was forced out of my job by Homewood the first time Late 94, early 95) for trying to talk about it , the est-ee and the staff involved and being forced into a psychiatrist's office across the street. I was not "allowed" to confront the est-ee you see; not even with witnesses. My employer told me there was “nothing they could do.”
She (Dr. E.) told me how I was not allowed to confront anyone at Homewood about the same time (so I heard) as the staff performing in this was allegedly told, also by Homewood that they were not “to admit to anything.”
Now I don't think we all need to be geniuses to be able to figure out that the goal in THAT little scenario is NOT real resolution but rather just the opposite. I am not sure where this fits in to medical ethics but I guess I am just too pea brained to be able to figure that one out. Poor, genetic defective, little me.
Oh and this list of connections here is but a small drop in the proverbial bucket of the public acting out, compared to all the rest of the acting out, by this community which I have witnessed since 1993, and which is still going, with many more people added to get in their own cents worth, which they obviously feel they are entitled to express by virtue of being part of a superior GROUP.
Of course none of them need to worry at all about being “found out” since the entire event and all those involved in IT, has been neatly pathologized right out of existence!
So twenty three years later, and despite telling these people at Homewood what this idiot est-ee was doing, and of course being “corrected” for those paranoid delusions of mine, and eventually broken by the stress and pressure created, I am STILL, “Waiting for Godot.”
Stupid, inferior me.
This folks is HOW the est-ee “wins” by setting his goal first and then “watching the action” he creates between the two “sides” of the contrived “reality”' he has created and defined FOR me and everyone else as well.
As they said in his training, they “do it because IT works.”
It “works” because the manipulated masses close ranks to take care of their own interests when they begin to discover that all is not what they thought it was and they deny the whole thing as the means to achieve that group goal.
The est-ee already KNOWS that when he “STARTS the action.”
I knew what was wrong with him long ago. What is the excuse for the rest of you and all your ongoing participation in IT. Have any of you superior ones figured out what,
“You people should be ashamed of yourselves,” MEANS yet? How about, "This is like being stalked by proxy"?
Or are you still too busy asking EACH OTHER while a few feet away from dull witted me, as the fascinating “case”- “Who do you think the “people” are that she “thinks” are talking about her and to whom is she talking?”
Can you see at all why we, on the receiving end of this large group crap find it hard to believe this is NOT a Joke or that the people doing it are not just “pretending to be stupid”?
Reality people, as the est-ee's training teaches us all, is NOT defined by “authority” or “group consensus” but is that which you, and I, as your “subject” EXPERIENCE; it is substantial (not a theory) and it can “knock you on your ass!” Now be sure to thank the est-ee nurse for your absolutely free “enlightenment.”
He had to pay big bucks to be taught to be such “a winner in the game of life.”
As Sheridan Fenwick tells us of the training from which the est-ee nurse is quoting to me, in writing, which the Homewoodians have seen long ago and many times, if you just let go of your reason, you too can enjoy the rewards of narcissistic juvenile omnipotence, which give you power, control and domination over the “item” of your own choosing.
Oh and by the way, the people and connections listed in this post are just the tip of the gossip mongering and “story” telling “iceberg” that passes itself off as “socializing.”
It’s about manipulating LARGE GROUPS. That is why these "orgs" are called Large Group Awareness training.
You need to become aware of what happens IN LARGE GROUPS of followers of gurus who “hook” their own “items” into “the game” by telling them how “superior” they can be if they just choose to belong to the same exclusive group.
"It's about domination."
Oh and finally of course, don't forget the most important part of all of this: the denial of the existence of the entire event and all those involving themselves in IT. That IS after all, what makes this “covert” op and the power of It ,“work.”
“They do it because It works. “
Reason as a Lower Level of Consciousness
This group is a good example of how the mindless masses can be manipulated to literally pay big bucks for absolutely nothing. (literally in this case) It works as long as you hook their egos by telling them how superior they are to those they want, and often feel entitled, to control. (the "winners.") So you offer them membership in a "superior" club that values power, control and domination to those who are willing to let go of their "reason" to get IT.
Of course, it's not just those who PAY for that who get it. A lot of amateurs pretty much get that on their own and of course the targets of the controllers, trained or untrained by leaders, also "get It," just in an equal and opposite way...(smirk, nudge) Some of them are hiding in plain sight all around us, all the time.
It's about the self delusion of the superior ones and the denial of their own OBVIOUS reality, that keeps the dysfunctional group delusion going, whenever you're "in the loop" with like minds.
My "reality" HAS BEEN DEFINED FOR ME, by group consensus, supported and maintained by "authority." (Homewood) So can you see WHY the est-ee smiles with "satisfaction" It is because BOTH he and I know his "secret." That is: "Reality is NOT that which is defined by authority or group consensus, but IS that which I have experienced with him and his supporters, as his target, a.k.a. "item," in est-speak. He knows, that I know it. As long as no one else knows what he and I already know, (and I was not intended to know it in the way that I do, AS est), with him of course, knowing right from "the start of the action" where he est his goal FIRST, he "wins" the contest he is in for power, control and domination. What don't the rest of you "get" about that?
Nothing New Under the Sun
This is the very well established routine of dysfunctional groups, among all the sick societies all over the world that perpetuate this kind of targeting of selected “inferiors” and the chaos and confusion created buy It.
The common “solution”(sometimes called the “Final Solution”) is to close ranks, deny the entire event and the participation of all the “normal” people involved in it, and then explain it all AWAY by either; pathologizing the perception of It, and reactions TO IT, as a problem in the “inferior” or, if it can't BE denied entirely, by blaming the target for “making It” happen.
In other words it is an active avoidance of looking right AT the “Source” of the problem.
Mobs don't generally like to “go to Source” or do any “sourcing” as they say in the est-ee nurse's jargon.
So, “The Source” (which is also a euphemism for the “devil” in spirituality) “wins” the “game” and he does so by being “shifty” and handing the 'responsibility” for HIS thinking and behaviour, to his targets and victims. He justifies himself by telling them and himself that they “chose” to be victims. Self-serving, self promoting tautology complete. Of course, usually, only the true “Source” and his selected targets know the truth.
They also both know that no one will believe the targets since the “source” is not the one showing signs of distress, seems happy, is often quite social, and, of course, would have “no reason to do such a thing.” No reason...no reason at all. (Nexus point) Since all look for reason, (logic) where there is no reason in the first place, the target's version of the reality between the original pair, makes no sense- to THEM.
That's why “the Source” always smiles with “satisfaction.” For to HIM, “reason” is a LOWER level of consciousness, embraced by those who “mistakenly” think that life has any real meaning.
But for the “Source” you see, reason only means “purpose.” So he does, what he does, “because he can,” because ”IT works,” because he is at the top of his own “game,” that's all the 'reason” he needs, to perceive himself as 'the winner” in an otherwise “meaningless” life, in which all others are seen as only a means to an end, and not as “real” as HE IS.
His own statement of infinite BEING. Well, at least until he is, no more. But then.....so WUT?
Either everybody wins or everybody loses. For in reality, it's cause AND effect; not “OR.”